Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle parenting guide for fans of Philippa Perry

Product Information

Let’s say our kid comes home from school upset about not being invited to a slumber party. If we focus on a flight to happiness, we’d say, “Well you don’t even really like her anyways! It’s fine! Let’s plan our own slumber party that night. You can invite Keala and Aura and Pia.” If we focus on building resilience, we’d say, “I’m so glad you’re talking to me about this. It stinks to feel left out. I know.” And then pause to see what happens next. Maybe you share a story of being left out. Maybe your daughter eventually wants to plan her own slumber party—not from a place of avoidance, but as something that comes after feeling like it’s OK to feel sad and disappointed. This builds your child’s tolerance to sit with upset feelings because you’ve modeled that you are able to sit with this feeling. “The more able we are to regulate hard feelings, the more space there is in our bodies to generate happiness.” Once safety is accomplished, connect with your child. Get to the root of why they lost control and help them understand. Don’t forget to tell the truth. From this perspective, the author offers tangible examples and scenarios to help parents interact with their children in more helpful ways.

Good Inside, A Practical Guide to Becoming the Parent You Good Inside, A Practical Guide to Becoming the Parent You

This is one of those books that you can read or listen to over and over again, and you'll hear something new every single time. What I would give to have had this book when I was raising our four kids...it would have been a total game changer! But even now, it has really empowered me to do transformative repair with my children over things I missed, or things I didn't get just right with them. If you are longing to have a deeper, more emotionally safe connection with your adult kids, this is a phenomenal place to start. I told my friend that the book is kind of a convergence between Den Siegel and Brené Brown’s work. A little bit of No Drama Discipline and Whole Brain Child mixed with a healthy dose of Daring Greatly and Gifts of Imperfection (I highly recommend all four of those, by the way). How you handle conflict during these early years teaches your child a lot about themselves. You’re shaping your child’s personality by how you respond to their boundary-pushing, conflict-heavy behaviors. I’ve never had an adult come to my private practice and say, “Well, my parents were just such great parents that well… They got rid of all the hard feelings. I only feel happy!” But I have had hundreds of adults show up with essentially no coping skills for hard feelings. They are no better off at age 35 than when they were in early childhood regarding their ability to regulate frustration, jealousy, disappointment, sadness, and not-good-enough feelings.In this summary, you’ll learn how to use connection-based strategies and find a way to hold your boundaries while teaching your child how to navigate their feelings and experiences without fear, shame, or self-doubt.

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Galu galā laimes veidošana ir atkarīga no spējām regulēt savas ciešanas. Mums ir jājūtas droši, lai mēs varētu justies laimīgi. There are a lot of suggestions that are very vague about the age of kids that they are appropriate for, and I suppose you are meant to just figure that out. Despite the sunny cover and branding, it's still conceptually quite guilt/damage heavy. It's all about 'repairing' the damage. 'Rewiring' your kid. I don't find this metaphor that helpful, it's a bit guilt-inducing and permeates the book. In each of these examples, parents are asking their kids to inhibit an urge or desire that, frankly, they are developmentally incapable of inhibiting.”USEFUL BITS: The second half is brilliantly practical, as are the scenarios throughout e.g. when your child refuses to put their coat on, when TV time is up. Even if you don't like the phrasing - they give you food for thought on what you might do differently. Let’s take an aunt’s death. You wonder whether your 4-year-old can understand this, but with this principle in mind, telling the truth might sound like this: “I want to talk about something that we are all going to have big feelings about. Aunt Sally died today. Do you know what that means, die or death? Death is when someone’s body stops working.” …“There are a lot of other details we can talk about, but first, I want to pause. See how you’re doing.” … “You didn’t do anything to cause this. I’m not dying. I’m here. I’m healthy. We are still a family.”

Good Inside: The new Sunday Times bestselling gentle

Before we begin, let’s make one point clear: Your child is good inside. No matter what. When he’s hitting his little sister with a shoe, he’s good inside. When she’s telling you she hates you, she’s good inside. The traditional parenting way is to push the kid in while saying “It’s fine! It’s a birthday party! You’ll have fun! See you in an hour,” and leave. Gentle Parenting is the azimuth of helicopter parenting. Helicopter parents micromanage what their kids eat, how they study, who they hang out with, and what they do in their spare time. The goal is to optimize the outcome for your child. But GP takes it one step further and says the parent can also optimize the emotional landscape of the child. There’s no one right way to repair, though there are baseline to-dos: Say you’re sorry, share your reflections, and say what you plan to do differently in the future. It’s important to take ownership of your role instead of insinuating that your child “made you” react a certain way.Spending one-on-one time with your child on a regular basis can prevent much of that negative behavior. The goal is to teach our kids how to manage all of their feelings and perceptions and thoughts and urges; we are the primary vehicle for this teaching, not through lectures or logic, but through the experiences our children have with us.”