Want to be Spanked?

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Escapism or sense of adventure: People may find spanking therapy a way to change their routine and elevate their experience from mundane or everyday matters. The authors also note that some scientific theories suggest that SM practices, such as spanking, may help some people heal from trauma.

I must also understand that by doing so, I would be relinquishing the real domestic discipline element/lifestyle that we have developed and that has worked so well for us. There are some that take punishment spankings up to a point, then safeword out. I’m not opposed to that if that is what works for you. What ~I~ set out to do was to be truly accountable and take what SHE assigns and gives. Keep in mind, while the spankings are very real, very harsh, and very painful, there has never been a time where it has been abusive or sadistic. This woman loves me. We are soulmates and were soulmates before we ever started down this road. We are lovers and best friends, and she knows me better than anyone else in the world. Lastly, because we’ve been doing this for a while, she knows my limits. She knows how far to take things and I trust her implicitly. Those feelings are understandable, particularly given some of the messages you may have received about this. Answer: Not at all. Again, this is consensual. I could tell her I don’t want to do it anymore but I have come to understand and appreciate its value…to me, to her, and to our relationship. There is so much trust and communication that is necessary when doing this kind of thing, that it has actually taken our love, trust, and intimacy to new levels. My wife wrote a great post about the benefits of having a spanking relationship with your husband, that highlights some great points regarding its ability to help eliminate tension between a couple.This type of relationship works with same sex couples. We are both females. I put my girlfriend over my knee when she gets out of line. My girlfriend is a big girl (5’11”) and I’m quite small (4’10”), but I insist on putting her over my knee as it adds to the humiliation. And, don’t let my petite size fool you. I give tough spankings that will change undesirable behaviors. Hello everyone I’m another husband who’s wife is a firm believer in spanking a naughty boy on a school theme as she insists I wear a school uniform shorts included she loves being the firm ,strict headmistress and has a mortar board and gown her motto reads “well my boy if you act like a spoilt graft you will be spanked like one. According to a 2015 article, people may take part in BDSM activities such as spanking for nonsexual reasons. Answer: Nervous for sure. Sometimes I may have a little bravado about the impending spanking, but the closer we get to the actual event, the more nervous I get. This is because I know that I’m in for a REAL DD spanking and what that feels like. When we were doing fun or sexual spankings, or spankings where I knew I could safeword out, I found those to be arousing. But that was because I was in control of stopping the pain as soon as it got to be too much for me. Now, I don’t give myself that option and just take what is given. So bending over the end of the bed (usual position for our domestic discipline spankings), bare butt, as she stands to the side with a harsh implement is a very daunting thing. And, unlike “fun” spankings, there are no light swats or warm up swats to start. From the moment the very first swat or lash lands, the pain is overwhelmingly present and continues to grow throughout the duration of the spanking. You are my wife. I love you, I love you way too much to allow you to disregard our agreement on the best way for you to improve your health and put yourself in jeopardy. I care enough about you to put some boundaries and guidelines around you to keep you safe. And yes I will wear you out if necessary to show you just how serious I am about my love for you.”

Eventually, Charles and I ended our relationship when he wouldn’t end it with his girlfriend. I talked with my therapist, Dr. B, about how the emotional part of the relationship hadn’t been right, but my sexual chemistry with Charles had been spot-on. I guess I want to say that there is a choice, at least to some degree, of what you think and feel. Their purpose being to humilliate you and your decision not be humilliated. (you could decide to be angry, for example). When I was 21, right after I graduated from college, I began dating Brandon, a brilliant, charismatic, confident 22-year-old. I loved how his dominant, even arrogant, personality manifested itself between the sheets. (Really, the only place I could put up with such a personality.) I didn’t have to ask for him to spank or dominate me because he did it naturally, and I didn’t feel like I was “choosing” to be submissive. But when we broke up after nine months, I knew I wanted the next guy I dated to be dominant in bed, like Brandon had been. I did a little Googling about submission and spanking fetishes and discovered it was a lot of other people’s fetishes, as well. And I was, by a few different guys who, to varying degrees, were down with giving me spankings. But I still felt kind of ashamed because they themselves didn’t enjoy it, but they spanked me anyway because they knew it made me happy.That diversity of sexual experience I mentioned also applies to how we categorize and describe our behaviors. Something that one person defines as super-taboo is totally unremarkable to someone else. You may find that spanking falls solidly within your definition of kinky (if that's even a word or frame you use), but that that you're not comfortable calling what you do BDSM. You may find that you're comfortable with the BDSM label, but that spanking doesn't match your definition of it. You may find that spanking falls into a separate category altogether, or no category at all. All of those outcomes are completely fine. What sensations feel sexual, and how we feel about them, are personal and variable. You get to name your desires in whatever way feels right to you and makes you the most comfortable. Our sexual lives and sexualities are totally DIY in this way. Even though my sex life is the best it has ever been, it’s more important to me that I’ve figured out how I define my feminism for myself. The thrills of a dom/sub relationship might not work for other women and men who use the same “feminist” label that I do, but I’m not worrying about them anymore. I know I can enjoy a bedroom dynamic which, outside the bedroom, wouldn’t be acceptable. And I can still call myself a feminist. The following are answers to common questions about spanking therapy. Is spanking therapy always sexual?

According to an article in The Journal of Sex Research, people may engage in spanking therapy for a range of reasons, such as :Spiritual experience: Some people report that SM practices alter their state of consciousness, providing them with a sense of connection, wholeness, and mind expansion. Nearly half (46%) said they felt turned on by role-playing. “I get very aroused serving another’s needs.” “I have powerful fantasies of seeing myself as the devoted slave of a powerful owner.” “I trust my dom to hurt me but never cause real harm. With the deep trust we share, we can experiment with all kinds of consensual non-consent.” Subs enjoy only clearly specified sensations. Like everyone else, even the most submissive subs hate dog bites, sprained ankles, or street assaults. They crave only what they personally enjoy. https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Parallels-Between-BDSM-and-Extreme-Ritual-Sagarin-Lee-Klement.pdf

My parents, to this day, believe that nudity and humiliation were part of breaking my will of disobedience. To ask them, they'd do it all the same again. Some people don’t like to be spanked at all. And that’s okay, too. If you’re a partner who likes to spank, this might be a challenge for you. There are some solutions, such as having his/her permission for you to spank others, or be spanked by others. In talking to your boyfriend, you can always opt for the direct approach, which is to say something like "Hey boyfriend, I am curious about how it would feel to be spanked during sex. Are you comfortable trying that?" If he says yes, then you can proceed from there. If he says no, or otherwise indicates that he's not into the idea, then spanking will remain a fantasy only activity for the time being. I’m a straight guy but my whole life I have wanted to be spanked by older men. Does this make any sense? Because I’m confused. I don’t like or want penis, yet I want to be spanked as a punishment by men. I don’t understand myself sometimes. —Sincerely Pondering And Not Knowing Thinking about my own sometimes rowdy, and sometimes tender, sex life, I had to smile at the irony of a spanking. We don't hit our kids, so there would be some serious explaining to do if my son ever walking in on Rex disciplining me across his knees. And, at 6'1, I would feel kind of stupid. "Oh, Rex, slap my butt. But first, can you be a doll and get me a pillow for my legs? They're dragging on the hard wood." (Not * Whether I personally lean toward a good spanking or not you'll never know. *

I relate. As a man, though, it's a little different -- we're not supposed to hurt women, we're supposed to protect them. I've never hit a woman in my life, and abhor those who do, including those who emotionally abuse their partners. That's the essence of my shame, deepened by the impossibility of trying to explain it to someone who is not a spanko, someone who isn't wired to understand. As Keenan said: Eventually, our therapist-patient relationship ended, too, when I realized Dr. B didn’t get it and likely never would. I’d gotten over my conflict, and there she was bringing it up again. I may be a submissive, but I wasn’t going to put up with my shrink’s judgment!