The Clementine Complex

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This one is billed as a mystery, but it’s actually a really weak crime dramedy. It’s funny, if you like silly, ridiculous toilet humor or a man pretending a squirrel can talk to him. I do not. In fact, the story was so poorly written and the characters so shallow that I found myself not caring about what happened at all.

The plateau has experienced intense volcanic activity, both effusive and explosive. It includes the densest concentration of lunar sinuous rilles, including the largest known, Vallis Schroteri, which is about 160 km long, up to 11 km wide, and 1 km deep. The rilles in this area begin at "cobra-head" craters, which are the apparent vents for low-viscosity lavas that formed the rilles. These and other volcanic craters may have been the vents for a "dark mantling" deposit covering the plateau and nearby areas to the north and east. This dark mantling deposit probably consists primarily of iron-rich glass spheres (pyroclastics or cinders), and has a deep red color on this image. Rather than forming cinder cones as on Earth, the lower gravity and vacuum of the Moon allows the pyroclastics to travel much greater heights and distances, thus depositing an extensive regional blanket. Full of Bobisms*, I enjoyed The Satsuma Complex because of who its author is. Had this of been written by anyone else, I’d of probably thought it was a bit crap. 😂 Gary’s imagination, visual descriptions of people’s looks and attire and self depreciation are endearing from the start. Never have I read such hilarious commentary about prosaic day to day concerns including ‘my favourite urinal’ and imagining a dog called Lengthy Parsnips. There was a near miss of tea spitting following a guffaw regarding Gary’s blunt thoughts regarding the cover illustration of The Satsuma Project. Not an opinion I share! There is a lot to lie in The Clementine Complex, but I have to admit that I struggled. The mystery wasn’t too difficult, but it is convoluted, and I had some trouble keeping my attention in the story enough to unravel things easily. I liked it. It has some good characters and a lot of heart. I just didn’t love it as much as I’d hoped it to. Good, not great, but still fun. Almost abandoned as Bob struggled with the narration initially, but I realised I had a bit of a silly grin on my face so persevered.

But it’s the details that really set this book apart. Off the wall doesn’t quite cover it. What other fictional sleuth would write “large bananas” in tiny letters on an architrave in his office to cheer himself up at work? Or assign the names Zak Briefcase and Lengthy Parsnips to a pair of dogs he passes in the street? Fans of Mortimer’s surrealist turns on Would I Lie to You?, or his internet sketch show Train Guy, won’t be disappointed. Nor will crime fiction devotees, if only they can get over the talking squirrels.

I did enjoy the quirky humour and as a British reader (in America) I enjoyed the UK references and language. The story rolls along with enough action and mystery to keep the reader guessing what is going on along with Gary, Grace and Emily. What do you expect when a comedian writes a murder mystery that has a man named Gary talking to squirrels and names dogs as Long Parsnips? Whatever you expect, the book beats that. If you are in Australia or New Zealand (DVD Region 4), note that almost all DVDs distributed in the UK by the BBC and 2entertain are encoded for both Region 2 and Region 4. The UK and Australasia are in the same Blu-ray region (B). So, it’s no surprise that I’m a Bob Mortimer fan and have been appreciating his quirky style of humour for years now. So it’s not surprising that, while reading The Satsuma Complex, I could hear his voice every time his lead character, Gary Thorn, opened his mouth.I'm American and have no idea who Bob Mortimer is, but apparently he's some comedic genius across the pond. Now he's written a book that is supposed to be as good as Richard Osman and Nita Prose's works, whom I both love. DEBUT British comedian and memoirist Mortimer's ( And Away) fiction debut is filled with witty dialogue and a distinctive quirkiness. On the evening that unassuming legal assistant Gary meets his coworker Brendan at the local pub, he also hits it off with an intriguing, book-reading stranger who leaves without giving Gary her name. However, she leaves behind her book, The Clementine Complex. Confused by her hasty departure but unsurprised due to what he considers his ordinariness, Gary keeps the book and heads home. After learning the next day that Brendan is missing and possibly deceased, Gary decides that finding the mystery woman is the only way he can clear his own name while also getting justice for Brendan. Armed with the book she left behind and a description of her bicycle, Gary starts asking questions. Recruiting his oddball neighbor Grace and her dog Lassoo for assistance, Gary stumbles into a world of corruption that leaves him wondering whom he can trust. VERDICT This whodunit's memorable characters help set it apart from more traditional crime fiction. Will appeal to readers who appreciate a healthy dose of eccentric humor with their murder mysteries. —Lucinda Ward Library Journal Piles are swollen veins that appear as small, fleshy lumps in the wall of your rectum and anus. These can become bulged and irritated, especially when you go to the toilet. Piles bleed easily, usually causing fresh blood when you use the toilet. They can also be painful and itchy. The operation to eliminate piles relies on a specialist miniature ultrasound device to locate the blood vessels in your bowel that supply the haemorrhoids. During surgery, your Consultant will cut off blood supply to the haemorrhoids by ligating each of these blood vessels with sutures (tying them closed using a protective stitch). Over the following few days, your piles will shrink, and your symptoms will resolve.

To describe me as anonymous would be unfair but to notice me other than in passing would be a rarity" Most people will return home on the same day as surgery, though some will stay in hospital for one night. If so, this will probably be arranged beforehand. A friend or family member will need to drive you home after the procedure, as you will not be able to do this yourself. We can arrange for a taxi to collect you from the hospital, if needed.Surgery for an anal fistula is typically performed under a general anaesthetic, meaning you are not awake during the procedure. The most common type of surgery for anal fistulas is fistulotomy, but there are several kinds of surgery depending on how severe the fistula is. Speak with your Consultant about which kind of anal fistula surgery will work best for you. Clementine distracts Gary and when his co-worker leaves, they end up hitting it off and talking in the corner booth about The Clementine Complex. A book that strikes up a conversation and makes a great hiding spot for inconspicuous notes. Gary, a legal assistant, is kind of a boring guy. One afternoon he goes to the pub with Brendan and while there meets a woman reading “The Clementine Complex”. She leaves before he gets her name and shortly thereafter Brendan disappears. This book would undoubtedly be more greatly appreciated by British readers who would be more accustomed to dry humor and English vocabulary (fish slice, palaver). Emily, the woman at the bar, is given a narrator spotlight in thie book, as well as Gary, and a lot of attention is given to a talking squirrel who summarizes the clues and evidence Gary has found and pushes the plot to the next step.

I gave up at 75% and DNF. I'll never know the end of the mystery and I'm okay with that. I endured as much as I could before deciding this book was not giving me any joy in reading it. Funny, clever and sweet... The good news is that there is a lot of Mortimer's ridiculousness in all this." —The Sunday Times Gary Thorn is in the middle of investigating a serious criminal case in south London involving police corruption, domestic violence, possibly even murder, when he stops in the street to speak to a passing squirrel. He tells the squirrel what he’s planning to do next and the creature, as ventriloquised by Gary, tries to talk him out of it. “I would think around that decision a bit deeper than you obviously have,” it says.

Bob drops in goofy stuff in an almost flattish sounding narrative. Sample ".. have never bothered with social media and the like.I don't see the point of it; I've got enough strangers in my life as it is". In serious parts - a cynical remark (like that of Marvin the robot) has you grinning. And yet, it was a plausible story that had it's highs. Also, the self deprecating meta was hilarious and not too overdone where different characters call the book in the novel "The Satsuma Complex" shit and boring. What a fabulous book. A funny, quirky and compelling plot with so many great characters. Gary’s thought process and choice of words really made me laugh - it felt like stepping inside Bob Mortimer’s weird and wonderful mind.