You're That Bitch: & Other Cute Lessons about Being Unapologetically Yourself

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Well, obviously, I feel like a non-binary person, and I’ve always felt this way about fashion, even when I was shopping in a swap meet or the Goodwill or, like, the thrift store. Regardless of where I’m shopping I never look at the label, and by label I mean if for a woman or a man. This year, the Hawaii-based Philippine-born content creator marks another milestone in his career: he just published a memoir entitled “You’re That Bitch.” Bretman is currently in Manila for a series of book signing events (including March 4 at the SM Megamall Mega Fashion Hall and March 5 at the SM Mall of Asia Music Hall) but before all that, local media had the chance to get to know the sexy, always snazzy, always with-it social media personality. Well, I always say that it’s a love letter to my first quarter of life, and obviously, my identity being Filipino, so it is truly a love letter to that little boy who dreamt in Cagayan. So yeah, it is a love letter to the Philippines and to the representation of it. When asked about his goals for 2023, Bretman is certain that he’s ready for even bigger and better triumphs. “I think I found my home in entertainment and now that I get to release a book, what’s next?” He pauses for a moment, then gentle laughter spills from his lips. “Maybe it’s time for a bigger screen.” An unapologetically queer version of the sanitized beigeness of stories like Love, Simon. Compelling...in the relatively small pantheon of queer-of-color coming-of-age memoirs, it’s a unique perspective on emerging as a young public gay figure."

Since that herstorical day, I’ve immigrated to Hawaii from the Philippines, become a digital superstar, and have figured out how to just be unapologetically me. My impulsive, spontaneous posts— taken while beating my face, donning corsets and pearls, working out, unboxing, eating breakfast cereal, jumping off my roof, whatevah the day may bring— are watched by millions globally and have led to some of my wildest dreams coming true. Like creating a makeup line with Wet n Wild that sold out in minutes. Or sitting front row at Fashion Week, and making award-winning shows. I’ve been a model for Nike and a cover girl for Playboy. I’ve done commercials with Lizzo. SZA and Ariana Grande follow me on social media. I got to meet RiRi. Thinking about all these accomplishments could make me cry— I won’t, though, because crying just makes me look so damn ugly. When the bullying at school and home got so bad,” he writes, “I tried to suffocate myself with a blanket again in my bed before school.” I’ve been obsessed with Rhuigi [Villaseñor], he’s killing it. But my first introduction to Filipino [designers] was actually Francis Libiran! He designed my prom outfit when I was a junior in high school.

I’ve seen some people describe it as a love letter to Filipino culture. It’s amazing to see you pushing that on the global stage. The content of "You're That Bitch" is thought-provoking and deeply relatable. It covers a wide range of topics, including self-discovery, relationships, career aspirations, and personal growth. Each chapter delves into different aspects of life and provides valuable insights, practical advice, and relatable anecdotes. The author's ability to convey complex ideas in a concise and accessible manner is commendable, making this book suitable for readers at any stage of their journey. When did he realize that he’s already “that b*tch”?“Like oh my God. I’m in the Philippines promoting my book. I’m really that b*tch,” he says. Writing the memoir One of the most memorable chapters is one where Bretman encourages Filipinos to “celebrate our culture, but also question it.” He touches on colorism and the glorification of whiteness at length in his memoir ( “Read the book, period!”), but another aspect of the Filipino mindset that he seeks to challenge is online etiquette. I was in my custom Libiran for prom, like, who gets to say that? He even made me two options, I had a cropped one and then a cape version. My prom pics were amazing.

I think it was hard to be taken seriously because obviously, I started this when I was seventeen years old, like before I went through puberty you know!

The Ilocano is a bret, este breath of fresh air–funny and fierce, charming and sweet, and never not entertaining. His authenticity and bubbly personality always shine thru. Which is why from doing the humble beauty tutorials that started his vlogging career, he’s now doing everything and is a sought-after influencer and certified celebrity. Case in point: this month, he’ll be releasing his first book, a memoir aptly entitled You’re That Bitch. My little style evolution. Thank you! With the help of my stylist, of course, I’m not going to take all the credit. Besides his romantic life, Bretman says he’d like to protect the women in his life, particularly his mother and his six-year-old niece Cleo, who appeared in his videos in the past, from the prying eyes of the public. He wants his niece to live a normal life. “Kids her age should be playing around and not taking pictures,” he says. Girl, because I know myself. I'm very self-aware. I know that if I move to L.A., I’ll be fighting every b*tch there. It’s better that I stay away from people, honestly. It’s better for them. I’m doing them a favor,” he says, maybe half-joking.

When did he realize that he’s already “that b*tch”? Bretman says there’s no specific moment but he sometimes still finds it hard to wrap his head around the fact that he’s already made a name for himself. “Like oh my God. I’m in the Philippines promoting my book. I’m really that b*tch,” he says. You’re That Bitch: & Other Cute Lessons About Being Unapologetically Yourself, his new memoir, seems designed to appeal to his young audience by combining his life story with short, awkwardly pedagogical how-to sections about intimate but quotidian topics, like ass douching or spotting toxic relationship patterns. Young queer femmes taking agency over their own image was new and disruptive, and the content creation industry struggled to catch up. “I went through two not-great manager situationships,” he writes. “[One] called me a ‘spectacle’ to my face (and not in a cute way), and sniffed that … my brand would never live on or amount to anything. Hearing those things from someone who was supposed to lead me in my career hurt and had a lasting impact on how I saw myself.” Girl, it’s my third day out here! Only my third day out here, and I’m jet-lagged, but I’m pushing through! The coffee here is so good. And the hotel has this really cute gym. Yeah, it’s been cute actually. I love my stay! Bretman was simultaneously unapologetic in who he is and also very aware of the ways he has caused harm and must apologize for past behaviors and continue to learn. I think many authors like to "play God" with their books and make sure their perspective of life is the ONLY way to live and paint themselves as the best and most special human on Earth. I love Bretman's take on growth and reflection and ways he also tied in so many aspects of LGBTQ+, Filipino/SE Asian, and Asian American identities.The memoir isn’t chronological— it's formed as a series of essays and personal ephemera like photos — and the writing doesn’t often connect the dots of motivations and context. He does note there wasn’t really a lot of Asian American or queer of color representation before Tumblr and YouTube, which helped him start seeing himself in Asian American beauty videos. (In another chapter, he meditates on unlearning colorism, and the desire to be mestiza — a light-skinned mixed person.) If you Google the capital of the internet, it’s obviously the Philippines. With that being said, I feel like it’s because there are so many Filipinos on the internet, and there are a lot of us that kind of misuse it in a way.” Bretman points out the wave of negativity that was propelled at the country’s most recent Miss Universe bid, Celeste Cortesi, as an example. “If we’re gonna own the internet, we have to show the world how to use the internet correctly.” From the funniest and undeniably cutest person on the internet, this is a book for the weirdos and for the bad bitches . . . this book is for you!"

I think, when you go to a store, I truly don’t think clothes should be separated by gender! Because sometimes I’ll find, like, skinny jeans from the women’s section and like a big top from the men’s section. Obviously, there was a lot of representation when I was here, and going to Hawaii, because when I moved there, there were so many Filipino people. Like girl, everybody is Filipino over there. You’ve really branched out everywhere in entertainment. Is there anything you’re looking to pursue next? In addition to the powerful content, "You're That Bitch" is beautifully presented. The book design, cover art, and overall aesthetics enhance the reading experience, making it visually pleasing. It's clear that attention was given to every detail, ensuring a well-rounded and immersive journey for readers.From the funniest and undeniably cutest person on the internet, this is a book for the weirdos and for the bad bitches . . . this book is for you! Critical Praise Filled with the sort of self-reflection and heartfelt self-help of someone who has processed the challenges of achieving digital fame." — InStyle Magazine I think it’s chapter 11 and it was talking about how I lost my virginity in Disneyland,” says Bretman when asked what he considers to be the highlight of the book. I did not expect a book to have this much press going on! So I’ve been in LA twice already filming things for like Condé Nast and stuff like that. It’s just been crazy, I didn’t think there would be this much press, [for] like a book! I’m very proud of being LGBTQ+ and Filipino, so it’s an honor to be a pretty face for both underrepresented communities. Plus, Asian Americans and Asian immigrants are increasingly facing hate and violence, so I’m passionate about helping create more positive visibility for us— especially for brown Asians—I n entertainment, beauty and fashion. I want to make all of my communities proud— native, immigrant, Filipino, Hawaii.