The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion And Peace With Your Man

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When I thought about it, my husband's good driving record reflected that he didn't need any help from me.

Oddly enough, whenever I focus my energy completely on improving myself, my husband seems to raise his standards too. Imagine you wear a backpack every day, and inside it are all of your concerns, fears and instructions for your husband. As this community struggles with assimilation and with its boundaries around authenticity, the outcome of that struggle will likely set the tone not just for the design of a home, but also for female visibility and leadership in the Orthodox sphere. In Success Self-Programming, Lee Milteer talks about how one wife complained that her husband had a terrible temper, and every time it flared, she would say, "That's just like you to lose your temper!Although Fred and Ginger were equally skilled and talented dancers, if they had both tried to lead (or follow), they would have been pulling each other in opposite directions. I’m going to stop blaming my husband, criticizing my husband, because everything that happens to me is from Hashem.

The righteous wife is also often referred to as akeret habayit, the bedrock of the home, in a complementarian sort of way; families sing an ode to the “woman of valor” at the Sabbath table weekly, praising the Jewish wife as both a domestic queen and a shrewd businesswoman. When I urgently exclaimed that we should have turned right instead of left while riding in a friend’s car who knew perfectly well how to get to our destination, I reasoned that I was trying to save time and avoid traffic.Surrendering has struck a chord with those out of control of their desire to control and, as a result, her book is an international bestseller and her days are packed full of media interviews. As you become conscious of this switch in priorities, you can give yourself credit for producing so much harmony in your home every time you hold your tongue.