Togetherness: How to Build a Winning Team (Team Building)

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Now since we have chosen to walk with the Spirit, let’s keep each step in perfect sync with God’s Spirit. 26 This will happen when we set aside our self-interests and work together to create true community instead of a culture consumed by provocation, pride, and envy. Galatians 5:25-26 Voice Unlike the feeling of loneliness, which is subjective, isolation describes the objective physical state of being alone and out of touch with other people. Isolation is considered a risk factor for loneliness simply because you’re more likely to feel lonely if you rarely interact with others. But physically being alone doesn’t necessarily translate into the emotional experience of loneliness. Many of us spend long stretches by ourselves when we’re so involved in our work or creative pursuits that we don’t feel at all lonely. A Jewish young man who kept inviting a KKK member to dinner and gradually won him over with simple gestures. A family of a bullied, disabled, young girl who died, that set up a non-profit, Beyond Differences, that has grown into a national organization with the mission to Inspire students at all middle schools nationwide to end social isolation and create a culture of belonging for everyone.

Researchers have identified three “dimensions” of loneliness to reflect the particular type of relationships that are missing. Finally, there’s a focus on the present. Do we have a sense of identity that flows into everything we do? Do we see ourselves as an unbroken chain from our ancestors to those that follow in our footsteps? This is an area that often needs mending. Humans are a social animal, able to build the most complex community structures, and our unique abilities to communicate, share emotions, and create meaning have been our secret sauce in building giant economies and nation-states. We are wired to connect to each other, and when we're separated from that connection, we feel real, physical pain. But, at the center of our loneliness is our innate desire to connect. We have evolved to participate in community, to forge lasting bonds with others, to help one another, and to share life experiences. We are, simply, better together. We can make people feel a deep sense of belonging immediately by giving an induction to the individual with an Us story, an induction to the history of the team or project and allow them to connect with that history and Us story personally. Even a personal conversation with the leader to explain the new recruits role within the tribe really helps.Murthy describes a theory of three bowls of human interactions. In the first bowl, the widest, everybody needs plenty of space and attempts to operate as rugged individuals who need little to no help from anyone else. The second bowl is a collectivist culture that is very, very narrow, where the well-being of the group is paramount and everything is interconnected. The third bowl of culture, which Murthy prefers, is in the middle of the wide and narrow ones- enough space for people to feel unique, but enough connectivity so that no one feels ashamed or embarrassed about reaching out for help. This is the happy medium that seems so elusive in so many parts of life. In the movie, Cast Away, Tom Hanks masterfully plays a man going through madness as he's left on an island all alone. His only relationship is with a volleyball that he calls Wilson talking to it daily, and finally deciding to embark on a suicidal ocean voyage rather than fae another day of loneliness. Imagine for just a minute how you would feel if stranded far away from all other human beings- unable to communicate in any way- and how lonely and painful that might feel. For many of us, the opportunities to reach out are everywhere, but we don't take advantage of them. Many of us prefer to stay safe and alone, making our pet dog or cat the closest relationship in our lives.

Just as vocalists harmonizing together moves us emotionally, praying together in unity moves God and unleashes his power in our lives. 2. Our resilience grows stronger I’ve given this book a low rating mainly for the structure and format of the writing, not necessarily the content itself. The content is fine (little new information here if you’ve read anything on the topic previously), but the structure of chapters renders the book sinfully dull. I think this could have benefitted from a stronger editor and a clearer vision for what each chapter and section would achieve. The points feel opaque; they’re hidden behind incoherent approach. Personal stories are mixed with stories from others, along with actual findings from studies. This means you’ve often spent 20 minutes reading to get to a fairly simple point. Slowly we have lost touch with our primal instincts as a creeping shift has taken place from ‘our’ purpose to ‘my’ purpose with individualistic societies in the Western world. These values - getting ahead of everyone else - work against our need to belong. They push a mindset of seeing ourselves against rather than with others. In hindsight, it is not surprising that, as a society- a global society- we are increasingly more lonely. Our brains have evolved to depend on smaller communities, and we are wired to belong to our tribes. But our lives today, for most of us, are in stark contrast to those basic evolutionary necessities. We’re increasingly more isolated, and the pervasive loneliness prevents us from forming meaningful relationships in a time where digital connectedness seemingly offers opportunities to be more connected than ever. But this book explains how being connected and belonging to a community are so different, and offers hope for restoring our shared humanity. Again I tell you, if two of you on earth agree ( harmonize together, make a symphony together) about whatever [anything and everything] they may ask, it will come to pass and be done for them by My Father in heaven. Matthew 18:19 AMPCWe are wired to be extremely pragmatic and highly strategic in how we toggle between Us and Them. Eastwood grew up in an area where traditional schools were delineated between Catholics and Protestants. But when a regional sports team was created then both Catholics and Protestants would come together as a unified tribe against the region to the North of them.

Vivek Murthy was the US Surgeon General from 2014 to 2017. After his term had ended, he decided to write a book about one of the main health scourges he had encountered while travelling around the country. Not smoking, or the opioid crisis, but loneliness.Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ model says the base need for humans is physiological survival. The next level is safety, then our need for belonging. These are the three base needs. Once they are met, we move to the psychological need for esteem and then self-actualisation. One of the wisest books about winning you'll ever read...Powerful lessons beautifully expressed.' - James Kerr What happens when we come together? God moves in and through our lives to change the world in three key ways. 1. Our prayers become empowered

Probably the best and most inspirational part of this book is its stories. Murthy tells stories about people who've gone out of their way to create connection for themselves and their communities. For instance- Years later, after having a family of my own, I realized that in my own selfishness and pride, I didn’t appreciate or learn from those shared experiences the valuable opportunities to be together with my family. My dad was trying to teach us all along that only together, we are better. The sun rose in the east and shone on our first ancestor. Here is our origin story. Just as happens with each passing day, the sun slowly moves down this unbreakable chain of people. Each of us will have our time in the sun. But the sun is always moving. Moving towards the west, where it will finally settle. Raised in Miami, Dr. Murthy received his bachelor of arts degree from Harvard, his masters in business administration from the Yale School of Management, and his MD from the Yale School of Medicine. A renowned physician, research scientist, entrepreneur, and author of the bestselling book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World,Dr. Murthy is among the most trusted voices in America on matters of public health. He lives in Washington, DC with his wife, Dr. Alice Chen, and their two children." ( Department of Health and Human Services) The Scriptures illustrate how passionate God is about togetherness – about breaking down any “walls of hostility” or separation between us to the point of sacrificing and going to great lengths to bring people together into a relationship with him.

In building teams, leaders need to understand that people are highly tuned to receive the story of Us. Herein lies an opportunity for leaders to connect with and influence teams at a deeper level. Great leaders widen the Us story so that every person in their group feels a genuine sense of belonging. A more inclusive approach is possible. It can be as simple as a belonging cue like coming over and sitting with a teammate at meetings (as a senior) through to asking for everyone’s views in team meetings. Belonging is a must-read for anyone interested in building a long term high-performing team.' - Stuart Lancaster Once more, the more emotional weight attached to a vision, the stronger these neural pathways will be. In his work, Eastwood has found that producing bespoke films of the team’s identity and vision particularly effective in creating this emotional weight.