Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse

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Mindfulness helps us become aware of our default thinking patterns, so we can start to realize how we think. The goal is not to try to stop thoughts or feelings we don’t like, but instead to allow them to be there—without judging, changing, or avoiding them. This lets you build a friendly, curious relationship with the stuff going on inside your body and mind, even the stuff that feels awful. Of course, this is only true if you internalize and remember insights from the books you read. Knowledge will only compound if it is retained. In other words, what matters is not simply reading more books, but getting more out of each book you read. How to Win Against an Abuser? I get this question all the time, and my answer is always the same: Don’t try to win. As soon as we engage in this win/lose mentality, we abandon our hearts and forget what’s really important: vulnerability and love. Yes, absolutely you should remove toxic people from your life, but it should be from the perspective of self-love, not “winning.” As long as we maintain this false illusion of control, we’re still connected to the person in our psyches. A hallmark of C-PTSD is fantasizing about gaining some power over an otherwise powerless situation.” In Chapter 1 of Atomic Habits, I wrote: “Learning one new idea won’t make you a genius, but a commitment to lifelong learning can be transformative.” Choosing a book that you can use also provides a strong incentive to pay attention and remember the material. That’s particularly true when something important hangs in the balance. If you’re starting a business, for example, then you have a lot of motivation to get everything you can out of the sales book you’re reading. Similarly, someone who works in biology might read The Origin of Species more carefully than a random reader because it connects directly to their daily work. 2

Whole Again Quotes by Jackson MacKenzie - Goodreads

Core Wound: People with BPD tend to be suffering from a deep wound of rejection or abandonment, which has planted an idea of inner defectiveness in them. This causes them to believe they are inherently worthless and unlovable—that they cannot be themselves, because no one will ever want that person. Note: People with BPD often think “being themselves” equates to being extremely emotional and sobbing, or being clingy and jealous, or manic and impulsive. So the protective self is on its best behavior (idealization period) until it feels safe, and then exposes these more and more dramatic qualities, until eventually people leave. But neither of these sides is who you truly are. They are both the protective self, one “perfect” and another “broken.” The protective self creates an infinite loop to keep you trapped and justify its own existence.” There are many benefits to reading more books, but perhaps my favorite is this: A good book can give you a new way to interpret your past experiences.Keep notes on what you read. You can do this however you like. It doesn’t need to be a big production or a complicated system. Just do something to emphasize the important points and passages. If it helps one person, then it will be worth it. I’ve put my heart and soul into this book and I cant wait for you to read it. Thendral Veesi Vara Vendum is a short story by Ramanichandran. The protagonist, Venugopala Menon tries to live his life as an ordinary person but it doesn’t work out for him. He gets caught up in the world of crime and violence because he was not able to find another way to live.” This is the very first review of this book. Being the first reviewer, I am beginning to feel the pressure of having to establish the standard for the other reviewers. I’m now working on my very first book review, and I’m giving it a lot more thought than the typical reader would give something like this. This book was written for persons in my situation, like me. Read if you could. Conclusion People cannot go from abusing and manipulating you one day, to magically being healed a week later. This is simply impossible. Especially when this change occurs as a response to possible abandonment or rejection, there’s just no chance this is authentic change.”

Yumpu

One book will rarely change your life, even if it does deliver a lightbulb moment of insight. The key is to get a little wiser each day. Spirituality makes a really nice companion to therapy, because it provides love and warmth that you can tap into any time.” There is really only one way to diminish the protective self: stop feeding it. Instead we need to feel what’s there when we don’t indulge it.”The author describes a weight in his heart, on his chest, and that observing that sensation and working through the protective self to understand those sensations helps to heal the heart and self. It is HARD work. And I have been doing it for what feels like a million years. What does my protective self feel like it needs to protect me from? I should probably read this book again, more slowly, and with a pen and paper at hand, to be sure to take in the lesions it’s trying to teach me. You’re essentially sitting with years or decades of ignored emotions. All you need to do is listen and respond only with kindness. You do not need to judge or analyze what’s going on. Instead, simply welcome these feelings. Let them in.” England, 1947. Ellie Montford is sent to boarding school by her cold and distant parents, joining her best friend’s family on their farm for the holidays. She forges a bond with her friend’s brother, Simon, who promises to marry her – but childhood promises may not last…

9780143133315: Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and - AbeBooks

Sarah Brassard, author of Inside: A Guide to the Resources Within to Stay Connected to Your Truth, Even in Trying Times She’s been broke – financially, professionally, personally, romantically – but now is in one of the best places she’s ever been. Kerry Katona is poised to release an explosive new tell-all book, where nothing is off limits as she dishes the dirt on her turbulent life. This doesn’t happen on purpose, it’s just a coping mechanism when a trusted loved one rejects or harms us in a very confusing way. Even if we point our fingers and say, “No, you’re bad!” the damage is already done. The core belief lives inside of us, and no matter how many people tell us we’re good, we don’t believe it.Start more books. Quit most of them. Read the great ones twice. 2. Choose Books You Can Use Instantly As soon as I finish a book, I challenge myself to summarize the entire text in just three sentences. This constraint is just a game, of course, but it forces me to consider what was really important about the book. It also makes them vulnerable to more gaslighting, because their defenses have weakened, and the best gaslighting victims are those who doubt themselves.” Of course, not every book is a practical, how-to guide that you can apply immediately, and that’s fine. You can find wisdom in many different books. But I do find that I’m more likely to remember books that are relevant to my daily life. 3. Create Searchable Notes While reading The Tell-Tale Brain by neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran, I discovered that one of his key points connected to a previous idea I learned from social work researcher Brené Brown.