How to Rule the World: A Handbook for the Aspiring Dictator

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If you rule your appetite, but refuse to rule your children, you will eventually cease to rule your appetite.

We should design a reparations scheme that reorganises parental and family responsibilities in such a way that men have the opportunity to pay women back for the last two millennia – the incentive being the universally agreed cultural value that raising families brings joy. If we only had women MPs, right now Labour would be in government with a huge majority – because we’ve got 119 and the Tories have only got 67.There’d be less violence, we’d get things done quicker and we would solve a lot of problems by chatting – instead of bombing. I was so fearful that, when my small son was in hospital, I commuted between his ward and work, inventing excuses to leave the office rather than admit that I had a seriously ill child. Vic has been relegated to social commentary and listicles, Zaza has had an existential crisis at her big consultancy firm, and Chris has been discouraged from running as a candidate by his party because he doesn’t have the right “look” to be elected. It’s not about making women the leaders – it’s about making men and women equally able to succeed as leaders. Baxter’s career has been the pursuit of a documentary that might bring him success and his discourse is one long complaint at the lack of it.

Some examples of things you can recycle include plastic containers, paper, metal, glass, and electronics. All of her work is hugely ambitious;she’s always trying to smash open conversations, break down silences and challenge our accepted beliefs, whatever medium or genre she’s using. I get annoyed with those who are convinced they’re being picked on because they are black or gay or trans or come from some strange village or speak with a northern, southern, western, eastern accent, and are missing the big picture: that most of the time we’re all munching shit. People think: “Oh, women can’t make decisions when it’s the time of the month” and all that, but I think we’re very decisive.It’s very hard to make an audience laugh,” Jerry Seinfeld remarked recently, commenting on the comedian Louis CK who was, literally, caught masturbating in public. Women at the table will invest heavily in better education, affordable healthcare and access to clean water. The way to achieving that, he concluded, was to train for endurance (1,500m and cross country) as much as for acceleration (100m and 200m). Reform of any ‘broken’ system of government also requires government, however, and so we have to apply a broken system to fix the broken system. But, ultimately, I’m resistant to the idea of lumping us all together on the basis of gender: what about race, class, sexual orientation?