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Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person: A Parent’s Handbook to Supporting Newly Diagnosed Teens and Pre-Teens

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Remember our emotions are often contagious: if we are feeling highly anxious, those around us may well mirror these feelings or behaviours. Always consider whose needs you are meeting - if you are doing this because you feel you ought to, but really don’t feel prepared - it might be best to let someone else take the lead (perhaps someone from school), while you access support and develop your own understanding of autism. The Autism, Identity and Me Guidebook explores this in detail and could be a good starting point. This is a recording of our online roadshow, where CEO John Phillipson outlined the changes that are being rolled out across the Society. Unfortunately, an autism diagnosis carries with it a stigma, and becoming aware of this stigma can be damaging to a young person’s wellbeing as they get older – and the later they are recognised as autistic, the more problematic this becomes. Have a plan for follow up questions : It’s OK to ‘park’ the question or give the young person a kind of ‘holding message’ - better this than to give a rushed answer that they later find confusing or unsettling. If you are a professional leading these conversations (in advance of the session), you should start planning and information gathering alongside parents. The resources section of the Guidebook has tools which can be used in an informal meeting with parents/carers and key adults.

Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person: A Parent’s Handbook to Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person: A Parent’s Handbook to

This fascinating book provides an up-to-date and comprehensive overview of autism for parents wishing to learn about autism and how to support their autistic young person. While not shying away from the challenges that an autistic young person may encounter, Cathy adopts a strengths-based approach that focuses on embracing neurodiversity and nurturing the young person to develop their true identity. The book is very readable, and the resources provided at the end allow parents to explore areas further if they wish.

The experience of getting recognised as autistic is different for everyone, but it is affected by your age, your environment, your mental health and your supporters. Someone who is diagnosed at two is going to have a different life experience to someone who is diagnosed at 17 amid a massive mental health crisis. And they are going to be different again to someone who is diagnosed/recognised at 50, or even at 83 as happened in our Facebook group a few months ago! Cathy provides the information parents really want to find when they seek to understand how best to support autistic young people. This book offers a wealth of easy-to-follow explanations, reflections, and practical tips which are clearly based upon Cathy's extensive knowledge and lived experience. This is sincere parent-to-parent peer support in book form. Parents and teachers of autistic children, you need Cathy's book on your bookshelf! I'm genuinely excited about the positive change this book may bring in ensuring parents and professionals understand autistic young people better. I’m in lots of Facebook groups full of parents who feel unsupported by the professionals they thought would help them, because the system doesn’t allow them to help most of the time. I can’t fix the system, although I’ll give it a good try. But I can help everyone who reads the book to understand their autistic young person a little better, and to create an environment where they will thrive. Open your minds and come on this journey with me. You won’t regret it.

Nurturing support for autistic young people - Your Autism Mentor Nurturing support for autistic young people - Your Autism Mentor

So often, autistic young people are told to stop stimming, taught neurotypical ‘social skills’ and disciplined because of characteristics directly related to their autistic identity. We need to be actively promoting autistic pride and creating communities where autistic young people can understand their strengths and have their needs catered for. What is autistic identity? When a parent is told their child is autistic they instantly enter a world of misinformation and bias, often propagated by big organisations who claim to want to "help". Many parents inadvertently end up following advice that causes harm. Cathy's book offers the practical insight and guiding hand to help parents of autistic children navigate in what can be a confusing landscape as they journey to understand and embrace their child's neurotype. As outlined above, the intended target audience for the book was parents of older children and young people who were not recognised as autistic at an early age, but in my opinion the helpful advice in this book stretches to a group wider than that. It could help parents, carers and wider family members of children diagnosed autistic at any age, and it would also offer many insights for educators, particularly those in secondary schools.

When to have these conversations? 

It is never too late to support a young person in developing a better sense of self. I have worked for a number of years doing just this, through clearly structured sessions, together creating a personalised book all about them. The Autism, Identity and Me Workbook for young people was created to become the individual’s unique story, using visual prompts to positively explore their personality and interests, feelings of difference and what this means to them. The book also features other autistic individuals, providing peer representation, and a template toolkit. When to have these conversations? Cathy's lived experience shines through - from the conversational tone and reassurance offered to the reader; the book is an easy to use, warm and wide-ranging guide to parenting an autistic teenager. I can see that this book will help countless families, and will be relevant for years to come. Your role as a parent, regardless of your own neurotype, is to champion them until they are ready to champion themselves, to learn as much as you can and spread that knowledge to close family and friends so that your child becomes surrounded by people who understand neurodiversity, who know what reasonable adjustments they are entitled to, and who can provide them with the environment they need to thrive, both emotionally and in a sensory way. In particular, they need people who understand the importance of passionate interests for autistic people and are willing to join them in that interest, or at least dip their toes in, even if they don’t feel they can dive in headfirst. Being able to talk about and practice passionate interests is a form of autistic joy and likely to play a large part in your young person’s emotional regulation. Claire Sainsbury states ‘any child who is old enough to understand a simple explanation…. is old enough’ (Sainsbury, 2010). Likewise, research has found that when children know nothing about their diagnosis, they can have a very negative perception of themselves (Miller, 2015 and Punshon et al 2009). Who is best placed to have these conversations?

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