Grow Your Own Girlfriend - Purple

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While it went down a storm with the Monarch, it’s a vast difference from Kate’s previous gift to her grandmother-in-law, which was a recipe of her grandmother’s chutney. Leafing through the Christmas edition of a well-known women's lifestyle magazine, it was intriguing to learn what Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, will apparently be giving her new relatives this Yuletide. Outing the royals' Christmas presents to each other is an annual event for some sections of the media, and in an investigative feature remarkable for its precision, Grazia revealed that Kate has bought a bottle of Floris perfume for the Queen, a beanie hat for Wills, and handmade fishing flies for Prince Philip. We can only hope the duke is not a Grazia reader. Likewise, if you're reading this, Phil: profound apologies. Although the Royal Family can certainly laugh at some of the gifts they’ve received from one another, they have also received some equally strange gifts from members of the public. The Royals are no strangers to gifting each other silly things for a good laugh—in fact, it's a bit of a family tradition, according to Mirror—but it'll be hard to top the gift Kate Middleton gave a few years ago. The Duchess of Cambridge reportedly gave her brother-in-law, Prince Harry, a "grow-your-own-girlfriend" kit. (Don't worry, she gave him this pre- Meghan Markle, during his single days.)

In 2017 the Queen received a lot of presents, including glitter balls for the royal Christmas tree and a bauble containing Enigma machine paper by GCHQ. Instead of the kind of luxe gifts you might associate with the monarchy, it's said the Royals opt for gag gifts; one year, the Queen was gifted a shower cap that read "Ain't Life a B*tch." These gifts are always opened as a family, so yes, the Queen, herself, would have been present during this unveiling. The family traditionally opens their shared Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning in the Sandringham's white drawing room. Looking for Prince Charming and failing miserably? Having a nightmare finding Mr Right? Our Grow Your Own Man will help you forget the dating scene and move straight into the bliss of a steady relationship. Even better, you won't have to endure any snoring, comments on your gorgeous shoe collection, or the sight of him sniffing his underpants and then turning them inside out for another wear. You'll even get to watch what you want on telly every night. All in all, you can build the perfect companion.And the tradition of not giving each other presents on Christmas Day like most Britons is due to the royals' German heritage. Another rather strange gift includes a white leather toilet seat given by Princess Anne to Prince Charles. On Christmas Eve, presents are placed on a white linen-covered trestle table, with cards marking exactly where the piles of gifts should be put. Failing to find love? Beginning to think that the girl of your dreams doesn't exist? Eliminate the need for a real woman with our Grow Your Own Girlfriend kit. It's a lot easier to convince this hot babe to go out with you and you shouldn't have too many problems keeping her happy either. She won't obsessively clean, she won't nag, and won't try to make you watch trashy tv with her. She'll just sit patiently in the corner waiting for you to pay her some attention. The royal family also follow some other quirky traditions regarding presents over the festive season.

There's a fair few things that a real girlfriend will refuse to tolerate. However, if you grow a girlfriend then you open up a world of possibilities. Want to spend all Sunday sitting in your pants watching the football? Do it. Fancy going down the pub with the lads on Saturday night? Not a problem. Feel like gaming all night? Go for it, she really won't mind. It's the ultimate fuss free relationship for the man who can't seem to find the right lady.

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