Brain Droppings

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I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State… These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.” – George Carlin They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws and criminals will have guns. Well, shit, those are precisely the people who need them." I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently, I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.” – George Carlin

Yeah, George was funny but it was his honesty and intelligence that made him special. No one was better at following up a fart joke with a stabbing insight about how twisted our perceptions of reality are. He skewered our empty icons. He revealed the evil within those who abuse their power at the public's expense. He also rightly condemned all of us for putting up with so much ignorance and insanity. Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” – George Carlin I like sports because I enjoy knowing that many of these macho athletes have to vomit before a big game. Any guy who takes a job where you gotta puke first is my kind of guy.urn:lcp:braindroppings00carl:epub:ab85389c-7252-41d1-8566-65728fb382ad Extramarc OhioLINK Library Catalog Foldoutcount 0 Identifier braindroppings00carl Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t9x06tt32 Isbn 0786863137 You've never been to your friend's place of work, but you've pictured it. Then he changes jobs, but it's a similar job. Do you bother to change your mental picture of where he works? By how much? Or your friend works at one Wendy's and gets transferred to a different Wendy's. Do you picture a whole new Wendy's? Or do you get lazy and say, "They're all pretty much the same, so I'll just go with the old one." Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” – George Carlin Or maybe you could sell some of your stuff. Have a yard sale, have a garage sale! Some people drive around all weekend just lookin' for garage sales. They don't have enough of their own stuff, they wanna buy other people's stuff.

There are a million laughs and "ah ha! touche'" moments in this book, almost literally, but there are a lot of groaners and not a few things that are embarrassing to have been set to paper and published for millions to see. What I like about this is that we get to see the mind of a great comic at work in the initial "thinking out loud" stage -- throwing every idea at us, as though he had written down on little scraps of paper and then compiled every good and not-so-good half-baked idea he'd ever birthed. What I don't like about this is, well, the very same thing.Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.” – George Carlin I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.” – George Carlin

Brain Droppings” is little more than a random collection of bits largely taken from Carlin’s most popular comedy album ”A Place for My Stuff” without narrative arc, segue ways, or even a framework on which to hang them. As with all Carlin’s material some of it is genius, particularly when he focuses on the absurdities of the English language, and some of it stupid both intentionally and unintentionally. So you keep gettin' more and more stuff, and puttin' it in different places. In the closets, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house: baseball cards, comic books, photographs, souvenirs. Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago. George Carlin's Brain Droppings (1997) is the third most hilarious book I have read in my life (after Wstep do imagineskopii (not translated from Polish to English, and most likely untranslatable) and The Third Policeman. I am rounding the rating up. Yay! George Carlin was easily one of the greatest comedians of all time, the best in my opinion. Apart from Richard Pryor, I can't even think of anyone who comes close to his talent, relevance and longevity.Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. He mentions being happy the Yankees annihilated the Braves in the World Series in the book, but mentions it happened twice in the audiobook, as the two teams played again in 1999. I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?” – George Carlin The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents ... America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction – Jon Stewart and the cast of The Daily Show (2004)

People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.” – George Carlin I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” – George Carlin If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles … hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages … And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE are!The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?”