The Unexpected Joy of Being Single

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You don’t have to be single to enjoy this book – the techniques Gray suggests to help self-soothe are useful for anxiety. And for those in a relationship, it raises important questions about co-dependency and who you are as an individual. It is comforting to have someone rationalise your most irrational thoughts, the weird hypothetical situations you create in your head before actually meeting someone, and those intense digital connections which fray rapidly in real life.

Being a well-researched book, Catherine includes various findings from scientific research to underpin the ideas found in The Unexpected Joy Of Being Single. She explores the three main attachment styles (i.e. the way we connect with others): anxious, secure or avoidant when it comes to forming attachments and how we relate to the important people in our life. Also discussed is HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) because if we experience any one through the day, it may be the cause of common negative feelings. Bridget Jones, the vodka-slurping poster child for miserable spinsters. Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/Allstar Colle It’s no secret that most people spend at least a chapter of their lives single. Maybe you’ve recently gone through a rough break-up? Or perhaps are just simply enjoying the independence singledom brings — whatever your situation, there’s a few aspects of single life that are fairly universal. From wondering if you’ll ever meet the right person to embracing a new identity, there’s a million different highs and lows. So, while the ins and outs of everyone’s situation is unique, there are a few inspiring books about being single that everyone should make a point of reading. This is her story to sobriety - it's not remotely preachy, it's an honest account of what she went through and how she maintains her sobriety. Her writing is open, frank, and unapologetic.Ever sworn off alcohol for a month and found yourself drinking by the 7th? Think there's 'no point' in just one drink? Welcome! There are millions of us. 64% of Brits want to drink less. To elaborate; the title is very misleading. This book should be titled “the joys of using hindsight after becoming sober “ First of all, well done to the author for her sobriety and courage to pen and publish this memoir. Its popularity will hopefully make people notice that as a society we have a problem with alcohol. I don’t think any drugs require encouragement or advertising and it’s sad that people don’t realize that alcohol can be addictive. Finally, during the interview, Catherine mentions how feeling overwhelmed and having ‘single sorrow days’ are normal and okay. Despite writing the book, admittedly she still has days like this, where her candour is to be admired. With humour, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single sets out to help us be happier and content, as singles; but reassuring in reminding us we’re also, still human after all. In the Community of Single People, someone just asked if anyone had read Catherine Gray’s book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single. I reviewed it a few years ago, but since that review is no longer available online, I’m sharing it here. “The Unexpected Joy of Being Single,” by Catherine Gray

Six years ago I was suicidal. When I quit drinking I was still very low so I started researching how to change that. I kept coming up against gratitude and ‘finding beauty in the everyday’, and even though my Britishness was like, ‘that’s way too cheesy and twee for me’, I gave it a go. I joined a gratitude group on Facebook and started writing gratitudes every day and it completely turned my mental health around. Instead of the jargon common of self-help books marketed at women, and their inane sets of rules to avoid a lifetime alone, Gray employs her own terminology (see: man-attracting; single sorrow; oneomania). Unfortunately, what she has not managed to avoid is sprinkling clichés throughout. But then, society’s obsession with romance is fundamentally clichéd. At least Gray is self-aware. A culture shift is overdue The thing stopping you? Keeping you single? Standards. Free will. It's really important to remember that single is a choice; you're not a put-upon victim who can't get a date." Next time someone asks me why I am single, I will be answering with, "Standards! Free will!"

Our brains are naturally negative

From hearing Catherine speak, we can tell this has been a deep exploration of how it feels to be single while drawing on meaningful research to understand those feelings. With more people than ever before living a single life, the book provides helpful tools to show those of us who may benefit, how we can positively change our mindset and embrace our single status long term. It’s about us all accepting singledom as a normal way of life.

Many people are under the impression that being single is some unfortunate thing that happens to us, but what if it’s a conscious choice we make? This memoir from a 40-year old single woman will resonate with people of all ages. This is the perfect read for independent women who love their own lives and don’t feel the overwhelming need to couple up. The remainder of the book contains tips, lists, and analysis. With the help of three scientists, Gray dips into the psychology and neuroscience of addiction, as well as talking about strategies which worked for her in various situations, such as socializing sober to dating without drink. She is clear at all times that this is just what worked for her, and that other people may need to find different strategies. single anxiety. Love addiction. Spending hours scrolling through dating apps. Being inconsolable when he/she doesn't text. Humming 'Here Comes the Bride' when they do. It's well-written, witty, honest, and an excellent book to dip in and out of. Funnily enough since my last review in 2019, and partly due to reading her book, I've really changed my perspective on being single and really do enjoy living a single life. Really enjoyed the joyful and positive advice. An honest account of the pros and cons of being a young-ish, single woman in today's society.

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Cue: single anxiety. Love addiction. Spending hours scrolling through dating apps. Being inconsolable when he/she doesn't text. Humming 'Here Comes the Bride' when they do. Catherine discusses some of the tools she used, while stressing that everyone has their own way of recovering. She has words of wisdom for everyone: Most of us are living average, normal lives. We have these flashes of extraordinary moments but they don't last very long... most of [life] is workaday and a bit humdrum and pedestrian. So why not embrace the joy of the ordinary? We've got nothing to lose.” Being thankful for the little things can be life-changing To reflect that reality, Nicola Slawson, 35, a journalist from Shropshire, set up the Single Supplement, a newsletter for single women. “A lot of the content aimed at women is condescending and negative,” she says. “It’s all about what to do with your partner or how to get a partner if you don’t have one. The assumption that being in a relationship is the norm is really infuriating. So I aim to write about the things that really matter to single women – everything from self-acceptance to practical issues like money management on a single income.” It was also fun reading a book by a writer who is the exact same age as me; I was loving all the cultural references which I could so relate to.