Can You See Me?: A powerful story of autism, empathy and kindness

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This glimpse into the world of a young autistic girl is astonishingly insightful and honest. Tally's struggles to 'fit in' are heart-wrenching, and her victories are glorious." -- Ann M. Martin, Newbery Honor and New York Times bestselling author of Rain Reign

Tally Olivia Adams is 12 years old and in 7th grade with her friends Lucy Aisha and Layla. Her big sister Nell is boring and annoying. Her parents struggle to help her with her autism. Tally life turns around as unexpected events come around .... Tally has autism which includes a very difficult condition known as demand avoidance. What that means is if someone tells her to do something straight out, she absolutely can not do it. This condition makes her behavior hard to understand, at times. Nell, her older sister, doesn’t want to understand and just wants Tally to be normal and do what she’s supposed to do. Even Tally’s Dad, at times, forgets how he’s supposed to phrase things and often his words lead to confrontation. I am not autistic, and I had the very great blessing of being homeschooled, which I appreciated even more after reading this book. However, I deeply identify with Tally's high sensitivity to stimulation and agitation over it, her obsessive-compulsive tendencies, some of her tics, and her constant stress over trying to find some way to appear at least semi-normal, or at least normal enough to fly under the radar. This was also my first time reading a novel that reflected some of my behavioral issues from the past. Although Tally's are more extreme than mine were, or at least seem to make less rational sense, her feelings of grinding anxiety, rage, and explosion are painfully familiar to me. Tally isn't ashamed of being autistic -- even if it complicates life sometimes, it's part of who she is. But this is her first year at Kingswood Academy, and her best friend, Layla, is the only one who knows. And while a lot of other people are uncomfortable around Tally, Layla has never been one of them . . . until now.The book's descriptions of her feelings, and her explanations for things that don't make sense to other people, are near-perfect. I can relate so much to feeling that constant sense of rage and explosion, and being so frustrated with people who thought that I was choosing my bad behavior, wanted to be miserable all the time, and enjoyed making life a living hell for me and everyone else in my family. Tally clearly explains to the reader the state that she gets in, showing that she is not acting out for selfish reasons, but is suffering tremendously and cannot contain herself. Tally is eleven years old and she's just like her friends. Well, sometimes she is. If she tries really hard to be. Because there's something that makes Tally not the same as her friends. Something she can't cover up, no matter how hard she tries: Tally is autistic. I wanted to see how Tally copes with autism and really it doesn't show much of that. But autism shows up when horrible events happen. It's quite a sweet book, my English class agree. We all read it together, went through what might happen and how Tally felt. Really, that was fun. The book was interesting but I think they should have put someone else's point of view in it, like wonder. Cause Tally became a bit annoying. Tally's autism means there are things that bother her even though she wishes they didn't. It means that some people misunderstand, her and feel frustrated by her.

However, we are now a little further down the road and I suppose I am more accepting and more than ready to understand my daughter in any way I can. With diary entries written by eleven-year-old Libby Scott, based on her own experiences of autism, this pioneering book, written in collaboration with esteemed author Rebecca Westcott, has been widely praised for its realistic portrayal of autism. However, on the negative side, it bothered me that her mother was so dismissive of Tally's explosions, seeing them as something that the family had to endure. Again, I'm not autistic, and I know that my experience is different, but the message of "this is just who Tally is," as accepting as it seems, can be a cop out from finding solutions to someone's misery. In my experience, discovering food and chemical sensitivities and changing my exposures changed my life, and I would hate for parents or children who are dealing with behavior issues like mine to read this and think that it's a static, unchanging issue that can't be mitigated or resolved. The reader is supposed to believe that the main character, Tally, is a mainstreamed student at a public middle school, but the way her behavior is portrayed, there is no way she would be mainstreamed, and particularly without an IEP and all her teachers knowing what her needs were, which is not the case in this story. At home, Tally daily has melt-downs in which she screams at her parents and her sister, tells them she hates them, and that her behavior is all their fault, and that she can't help it. At school, however, she repeatedly comments that she feels like having a melt-down, but she just can't, because she doesn't want her friends to see. So apparently, she does have some control over her behavior, which makes her look like a spoiled brat.Something is different about sixth grade, and Tally now feels like she has to act "normal." But as Tally hides her true self, she starts to wonder what "normal" means after all and whether fitting in is really what matters most. This book is a combination of present-tense, third-person prose and short diary entries from the perspective of Tally, the autistic main character. The diary entries mainly focus on charting her anxiety levels and explaining terms and concepts related to autism, often breaking them down into pros and cons. Still, despite its stylistic flaws, this book has an encouraging message and provides what appears to be an extremely realistic representation of autism, even though I cannot speak from personal knowledge of it. This book should be very encouraging and helpful to kids who relate to Tally's situations at home and at school, and it is a great tool to help build understanding and empathy among family members, friends, and classmates of children with autism.

A coming-of-age story about learning to celebrate yourself -- and teaching the world to recognize you, too -- perfect for fans of R. J. Palacio's Wonder! Endearing, insightful and warmly uplifting, Can You SeeMe? is a story of autism, empathy and kindness that will touch readers of all ages. About This Edition ISBN:It is early days but I really think this book is going to change a lot about how I think about things and how I support my daughter. Tally’s friends don’t really get her either. They seem to expect Tally to be and act like them and that is something that Tally isn’t comfortable with. “ ... they make her feel like she is clinging to the side of a cliff while her friends all peel her fingers off the edge, one at a time." And then there’s Luke, the bully, who makes her life miserable at school with all his nasty comments.