Think Like a Therapist: Six Life-Changing Insights for Leading a Good Life

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Here you intentionally bring more positivity into the relationship—more compliments and thank-yous, more affection, more honesty by speaking up and saying what you want and feel. I'm going to walk you through several ways to deal with the argument you either just had or are about to have with your partner.

Seriously, a number of the specific challenges you describe in the “homeostatic seesaw” resonate profoundly with my own ups and downs. Thinking this way creates arguments over whose reality is right, power struggles over who needs to give in first. I feel criticized and withdraw; you then feel neglected and get angry, and I withdraw more, which fuels your neglect and anger.

It is easy to deny the reality of our own demise, but wisdom comes from confronting our own mortality. Hopefully, your couple got what they needed from therapy, and you feel satisfied with a job well done. THINK LIKE A THERAPIST will enrich the process of self-development for anyone in a way that is made possible only by his depth and wealth of understanding the human condition. The same level of investigation should be put into any symptom you have that you’re seeking counseling to help alleviate.

Avoid the gaslighting, the blaming, and instead focus on the present: how we can help each other not feel triggered. By doing so over time, you not only have better problem-solving communication, but you help each other heal those old wounds. The concept of sharing with people what an experienced therapist has learned about living life well is brilliant.In the example of Bob, he could have read dozens of books on finance, self-control and budgeting if he wanted to attack the issue on the surface level, especially given there were not extenuating circumstances like job loss, health or divorce.