Joined in 2023 
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Super absorbent – Spend less time drying and more time enjoying life with this super absorbent towel Of course not. You drank the Kool-Aid. You swallowed the pill, didn’t ya? You’d love to believe that shit. No he was terrible. Horrible. No confidence. Couldn’t even fake it. Bunch of shitty little snobs at the RHS in Cardiff laughing in his face. Shammy’s dripping water, he’s mumbling. Didn’t make it halfway through the set. Didn’t see him for the rest of the day. Went to study the begonias. Your pet ever make a mess? Puppy not house trained? Got a golden reliever about the place? You want to get the mop out, put down newspaper? Spread it all over the floor? No, you want our friend the Miracle Shammy. He does all the work for you.
The Miracle Shammy Pack of 3 BOGOF - 6 Shammies in Total
It’s never happened though. Not once in over a decade. Isn’t that amazing? You should believe me. This truth I have, I have it from experience, I’m not making this shit up. Everyone wants something for free. Guess what? Full marks. No one gets something for free. Not on my watch anyhoo.He didn’t want to go again straight away. He knew the old lady was batshit crazy, didn’t want to jinx it. But the next time we were out he improved. The penny had finally dropped right. He ate a big thing of cotton candy and bought himself a burger and fries. Didn’t have to share the sandwiches from out of my grub box that day. Guess what? The kid likes to give it a go. I told him to, early on, when there was no crowd, just schoolchildren wandering around. I threw him in at the deep end. Kids are the pits. You get one over on a kid, you’re a magician, and they never have any money. What’s the point right? So I told the kid to put on the headset. He’d been watching me for months, heard the patter a thousand times. I do ten minutes. The song that never ends. I do ten minutes then I roll over and I do ten more. Busy show, people start coming around at nine, I’ll be full flow from ten and go on until six – later if they let me. When do I piss, when do I eat? If it’s a busy day I don’t. No word of a lie. Eight hours, six goes an hour. Do the math. An amazing German made textile, the Miracle Shammy absorbs up to twelve times its own weight in liquid. Hardwood floors – they don’t have too many of them in Doncaster, but they get the same treatment as everywhere else. I get my square of carpet out, have to change it every so often, but it lasts a while. I have a bunch of them in a bag in the van. Beige, medium pile. The most important prop.
The Original Shamwow - Super Absorbent Multi-Purpose Cleaning
A quest to understand statistics published by the Road Safety Authority leads to a wild answer chase It is the song that never ends: yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they’ll go on a-singing it if only just because. . . it is the song that never ends: you know the rest. Brings me on to my favourite type of animal. That’s right, the party animal. We all know him, right? Drinks all your 12-year-old scotch, can’t handle it, then dumps it all over the floor?
Caring for your ePromo Miracle Shammy
Some gent in Hereford called me garrulous. I don’t know what that means, maybe you do. But it suits me fine. He smiled when he said it, two rolls of Shammies under his tweedy arm. Keep listening. I live in Tallaght, that’s right, near the Red Cow roundabout. Centre of my world, the Red Cow. Slingshot off that baby and I go all over this country, go all over Wales too – England, Scotland even. Near the kids, they live in Tallaght.
Miracle Shammy Absorbent Cloths Sweepa Broom - QVC UK Miracle Shammy Absorbent Cloths Sweepa Broom - QVC UK
Want to see the most absorbent material on the planet? Doesn’t look like much, this peach rectangle. Come and hold it if you want to. Don’t be shy, no one ever went no place being shy. Just to be clear, this gentleman here didn’t hear me a second ago. The single most absorbent material on the planet. I’ll give you one fact about it, before I tell you some more. It’s machine washable. Imagine that. The most absorbent material on earth, NASA use it, industry professionals won’t touch anything else, you see the Olympic Games? The German swimmers, what are they using for towels? This stuff. And when you’re done just throw it in the machine, let it dry on the line. Now look under the carpet. Whatever you got with the paper towel, that’s not even the problem, look under the carpet. Up it comes, a big pool’s sitting there. That’s what’s sitting on your hardwood floor. That’s what’s turning your bodywork to rust. Remember, the ePromo Miracle Shammy is most absorbent when damp – yet polishes and buffs best when dry. The free is the fantasy, the want is the reality. The Shammy is desired, and if there’s one thing we like to do, that’s service our desires. We’ve all agreed we want a Shammy, next step is even simpler than logic. We’re gonna get a Shammy. But you like the idea of a family business. You like the idea of healthy competition, we like the idea of success. You buy into it.Wash with the ePromo Miracle Shammy, wring the shammy thoroughly and pull in one direction. Polish with the Window Shammy dry. Caring for your ePromo Miracle Shammy Uncle Bill, he’s found the Scotch — and I’m glugging out the cola. I soak that square of carpet. I stop, that’s enough? No no, I keep pouring. That’s nearly a half a gallon on this little square of carpet. It’s long past saturated. There’s a pool around it. But more than likely, they’re buying. They’re reasonable, they wanted one. They’re getting three for free, it’s only fair that they contribute. There’s a logic to it that most people won’t refuse. Fair is fair. They’re embarrassed about trying to cheat the system. And once one has sold, watch the line form up, and the more people buying, the more people want to buy. It’s logical. It’s sensible. These people are all getting Shammies, do I want to be the only muggins going home without one? Tell you something special. Often people will join the queue who weren’t even in the crowd. Isn’t that neat? They’ll be buying two rolls of Shammies, not even sure what they are. No one wants to miss out. Made of a unique material called PVA (Poly Vinyl Alcohol), The Absorber is vastly superior to a terrycloth towel and leather chamois. A uniform, sponge-like pore structure enhances capillary action, giving The Absorber drying capabilities no other product can match. Besides being the best drying cloth for cars & boats it is soft on materials like fiberglass, The Absorber has endless uses that include: cooling your skin in the summer or after a workout, and drying your dog! With proper care The Absorber lasts for years and can be stored moist and ready to use in its handy tube.
Miracle Shammy: How to Wash and Detail your Car or Truck Miracle Shammy: How to Wash and Detail your Car or Truck
Baking Cage – Use the baking cage to cook french fries, wedges, roasted root veges, prawns or any other foods that require constant turning to achieve even cooking. Who wants a free one? You, madam? Give the lady a cheer, she’s brave enough to put her hand up. I’ll show you what I’m going to do. Here’s what I’m going to give you for free. Here’s a Shammy, keep this in your vehicle, line the floor with it. Here’s another, cut it into quarters, never use a kitchen towel again. And today I’m feeling really generous, so here’s a third one. Keep it for those jumpers, or those big disaster spills. He’s your big gun. Fold him up and save him for when things really get going. Next free thing – I haven’t finished giving things away – the instructions sheet: how to look after Shammy, in case you’ve forgotten anything I’ve told you here today. Now watch, I roll them all up together. Last free thing: the rubber band. It’s important. Keep ahold of that. You’ll need that to go around the big wad of cash you’re going to save from never having to buy another paper towel as long as you live.
And I believe it every time. Average ten people in the queue. Do the math. One hour is six. Eight sixes, forty-eight. Ten twenties, two hundred. Forty-eight two hundreds. Nineteen thousand two hundred. That pretty seldom happens, I’ll tell you. Kind of crowds you get at the Ploughing Festival. A rarity. I’ll tell you something else though: some days I’ve done better. How about those sweaters that can’t go in the tumble dryer? You know the ones taking up space in the hot press for days, turning it into a steam room, coming out covered in mushrooms? Or hogging the banisters on the landing for a week, always damp under the armpits? Take that jumper, roll it up in the Shammy. Fifteen minutes later it’s ready to wear. Once you’ve got a hand up, bang, you’re good to start selling. You’ve got the confirmation. They want a Shammy. They’ve just admitted it. They want one for free, well and good. For them the “free” is the important thing. But the real thing we’ve identified here, the important thing that this spokesperson for the crowd – and they are the spokesperson, because everyone else is still there, show’s over, the people who aren’t interested have jogged on – the important thing is that the crowd leader, the chief of the clan, has just very publicly announced that the Shammy is wanted. And everyone else wants to see what happens next. I opened the door ready for a battle royale. He’s asleep on the floor. I wake him up: hey buddy, hey goof. And then all the piss goes out of me: he’s scared. Kid was tired; then he was scared. A slug of snot coming out each nostril. Looks like he hasn’t cried in ten years but he’s spent all that time doing nothing else but holding the tears in. Like he’s absorbed them. Ten times his weight in liquid.
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