My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

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And one of the things that I talk to people about is that there is this nerve that comes out of the brain stem, and it’s called the wandering nerve. And it hits in the face, it hits in the pharynx, it hits in the chest, it hits in the gut — it wanders the whole body. And it, I believe, is one of the things why we have “gut” reactions, because most of that nerve actually ends up in the gut. And when we’re stressed, that gut constricts or opens. And so one of the things that happens is that if I’m with you long enough, like if me and you become friends, over time I will start to hear things in your throat because the vagal nerve is either open or constricted. And to me, what you speak into that, very concretely — you say, “We tried to teach our brains to think better about race” — which makes sense; it felt like that was a good idea. But it didn’t take us — we tried to work on it in terms of ideology and public policy and politics. Phrases like soul nerve, and clean pain vs dirty pain, are introduced as vital concepts but only clumsily and superficially handled. Also included is generalized diet and weight loss advice, which is inappropriate for anyone serious about bodywork. My Grandmother’s Hands is about our human bodies; about how trauma affects them; about how that trauma is passed down through the generations; and about how resilience and trauma interact. The same bodily forces that make us resilient can also encourage us to harm one another.

Menakem: That’s right — “I’m gonna get rid of it. I’m gonna go do some yoga, I’m gonna eat a whole bunch of kale.” [ laughs] But “I’m gonna do this thing…” And I’ve done workshops where I’ve said — just said to the people in there, the bodies of culture — I’ve looked at them, and I say, “You are not defective.” Just saying that, tears start to well up in people’s faces.

Trauma and Its Effects

Menakem: Exactly. Flaying, whipping — here’s the thing. Land theft, enslavement, imperialism, colonialism, genocide — all of that. Now, if you get reps in with that — not just do it one time or just when I tell you to — what you may notice is that you have a little bit more room for other — literally, for other things to happen that can’t happen when the constriction is like that. Tippett: One of the things you — this was one of the five anchors for moving through clean pain — the first one, Anchor 1, was: Shut up.

If you know mindfulness practices, some of the practices here will be familiar if not quite the same. The strategies for settling the body are definitely some I will be working with. Menakem shares these exercises and techniques to help people do the difficult work of healing and dismantling white body supremacy, and (most importantly) remaining alive in the presence of traumatized police. The depth of the embodiment work here is a disappointment, rarely exploring further than insights like 'antiracist leaders should find a signature garment to wear to inspire solidarity'.The New York Timesbestselling author of My Grandmother’s Hands,Resmaa Menakem, surveys the deteriorating political climate and presents an urgent call for action to protect ourselves and our country. The book is divided in 3 parts. The first part is pretty much Resmaa Menakem stating the same thing over and over and preparing the reader for what his book is going to be about. I found this to be unnecessary and a waste of time. I just wanted him to get to the point. There was no need for him to mention multiple times what books he wrote, what TV shows he's been on, or how his brother is a police officer. It was extremely redundant. Menakem: Exactly right. So if I’m a 13-year-old white boy, and I get on the internet, and I see symbol, I see rules of admonishment, rules of acceptance, a tone, a cadence, a dress, an understanding, a rhythm — so I’m not just talking about just the things that we see, the dress and stuff like that. I’m talking about the glue — the resonant and dissonant glue that holds things together.

Tippett: Well, you can’t drop that on people, either, because they won’t be ready to — they’ll also brace. undoing white-body supremacy is first and foremost a somatic endeavor. the cognitive/thinking parts will flow second (because the lizard brain, the part tied to our vegus nerve, is both faster than cognition AND the vegus nerve can override cognition). Tippett: Well, I was kind of aware that I was half-thinking about what was gonna come next. But I don’t know, I felt more settled. And there was also a feeling of — there was kind of a feeling of comfort. But, you see, that’s where you start — right there, not in this “let’s bring everyone in and make them all comfortable.” Resourcing: identifying and utilizing the resources you have (e.g. supportive relationships, comforting memories, or calming breathing etc.) to help manage stress and trauma.

Cultural and Intergenerational Trauma

Tippett: And the Middle Ages — medieval torture chambers, which is another — those are two words that follow.