Holding the Baby: Milk, sweat and tears from the frontline of motherhood

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In the UK, for those of you who don’t know, the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children was founded 60 years after the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and still receives significantly less funding each year, through donations and legacies, than the pet charity. Perhaps this apparent preference shouldn’t be surprising. After all, domesticated animals are far, far less dependent on you for physical, emotional or psychological support than babies and children. They don’t hit you with years of hormonal fury during toddlerhood and adolescence, don’t learn to talk, don’t develop challenging political views, fall in love with drug dealers or steal your record collection. Finally, if the pet in question is a total nightmare, it is possible to give it away, or take it to a shelter, with very little social stigma. Timely, honest, brave and funny calling for a new kind of conversation about love, work, and parentood' - the Daily Mail This book is incredible relatable and comforting... ‘Frizzell writes beautifully and poetically … making this an important read for all women’ - the Press Association Scatter it over most stains, most fluids, most leaks, explosions, and oozes, let it soak in, and then wash it off. As I say to all and any new parents: baking soda is great on piss and vomit. And you’re going to have lots of both. Children’s centers are the most beautiful places on earth

The baby I’ve been bringing up is now five. He can chop carrots and name different types of beetle and do up the velcro on his shoes. I have written more than 130 columns about the wild, endless, everyday wonder of being a parent. And I still have so, so much more to say. Because there is still so, so much to do. And enjoy. And rail against. And learn. What you learn will vary, of course. And it will probably be different depending on whether you are a birth parent, an adoptive parent, a co-parent, a single parent, an older parent, a parent with paid work, a religious parent, a parent of twins, of a newborn, a parent who has experienced pregnancy loss, a parent with a car, a disabled parent, a parent with a dishwasher, or a parent who uses the phrase “the days are long but the months are short.” I have been some of those things, and I have written about my experience not just to try and communicate it to other people but to try and understand it myself. So, several thousand flannels, tantrums, rashes, and kisses later, here is what I’ve learned. Language has brought me more joy than I expected The publisher described the work as “a memoir culminating in a manifesto”. It said: “ Holding the Baby sets out to understand why we still treat early parenthood as an individual slog rather than a shared cultural responsibility. Tracing her own journey to the nadir of sleeplessness via social retreat and murderous rage, Frizzell draws on the latest research to explore the ways in which we fail new parents, and offer a rallying crying that we fight for a better alternative.” Giving parents a break doesn’t just mean doing a bit of yoga and lying on the sofa and ignoring the piles in the sink. True, genuine release from the stress of raising small children means shared and equal parenting in whatever shape your family happens to be. It means mandatory paid parental leave. It means a child-friendly workplace culture. It means a functioning welfare state funded by taxation. It means safe and high-quality housing for everyone. It means accessible, subsidised childcare that pays its staff a living wage. It means access to green space and affordable healthy food and good public transport and mental health care and playgroups and children’s centres. It means funding and supporting the National Health Service. It means park benches and playgrounds and fully-funded schools and honest conversations with your peers.In fact, it’s pretty unavoidable. After two years of stay and plays, rhyme times, playgroups and pantomimes, I can now belt out several rounds of “Zoom, zoom, zoom, we’re going to the moon” or “Old MacDonald” in a room full of people, without the tiniest worry that they can hear. Life with a toddler is like a karaoke bar, except you’re pretty much sober all the time and nobody tips. Describing loneliness will make you feel like you’ve just pulled up your T-shirt to show everybody a scar Heartening, eye-opening, hilarious. I'm glad Nell has given this weird time a term we can all use'. - Emma Gannon

My favourite person on the politics of parenthood. Read it and feel comforted, cheered and galvanized (even when your brain and body are melting).' Pandora Sykes You may also opt to downgrade to Standard Digital, a robust journalistic offering that fulfils many user’s needs. Compare Standard and Premium Digital here. Frizzell said: “This is the book I’ve wanted to write ever since I started thinking about writing books. The experience of becoming a parent is, by far, the most significant, most ridiculous, most confronting thing I’ve ever done. It is my Everest, my World Cup, my military coup. It is an experience beyond comprehension and yet probably the most universal human endeavour there is. With jokes, expert interviews, personal revelations and a genuine manifesto for change, it is the book that I needed when I felt eclipsed by early parenthood and the book I felt compelled to write, just as soon as my son had stopped trying to push raisins into my USB port.

Nell Frizzell has written for The Guardian, VICE, The Telegraph, Elle, Grazia, The Pool, The Observer, Buzzfeed, Refinery29, Red, Time Out and is a Vogue columnist. She is best known for features and columns on gender, culture, art and politics, including a recent Guardian piece on childbirth that was shared over 10,000 times, a dispatch from The Jungle refugee camp in Calais for VICE, advice on breastfeeding in public and many, many pieces on wild swimming. Nell has also featured several times on BBC Radio4’s Woman’s Hour, Shortcuts and as a guest on Radio 5 Live, BBC London and (surprisingly often) on BBC Radio Ulster. As well as journalism, Nell has written and performed comedy (at Green Man and Machynlleth Comedy Festival as well as various comedy nights in London), works as a lifeguard at the Ladies Pond on Hampstead Heath, is a seamstress and occasionally recreates famous portraits in her front room for her blog http://goppeldangers.tumblr.com/.