Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir

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Immediately nothing of this instant is tangible, there’s so little to recall that he imagines that he imagined it. It’s more of a feeling than anything real- just a fleeting sense that some pulse of life has singed the air. He felt for some fraction of a second a bird fly through him and in that moment he learns more of that bird than he’ll ever learn in a lifetime of loving it.” His love of nature resulted in him going on to study zoology at Southampton University, after which he trained to be a wildlife cameraman – leading to his job on The Really Wild Show, and before taking over the anchor role on Springwatch from Bill Oddie. Who edited this book? Do they speak English and read other books? It's a stupid and facetious question, clearly nobody edited this book, it's a rank and steamy mess of adjectives and adverbs with no substance. Well, that's not true, there's some small substance there in the story of how the author (I think it was the author, I'm not certain) stole a baby kestrel from its nest and took it home to keep. That wasn't really the substance I was looking for though, on the face of it that's pretty horrific and the airy fairy waffle surrounding it doesn't exactly put it in any kind of context to alleviate the sense of a dirty sort of PETA-baiting larceny. The towering cloud unfurled its edge, shoved the sun’s face away and spewed a vile violet light that curdled all colour. The grass greyed, all the dandelions dimmed and bleached, the scarlet lining of his coat rotted to mildew, his hands grew pallid, washed old and deathly, and he felt the cold steal up his legs and swallow him.”

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Packham, Chris Book Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir by Packham, Chris Book

Summary: A young boy is viewed as an outsider by his neighbours, but finds solace in his love of the natural world. This illuminating book contains a great deal of insight into Asperger’s syndrome and is definitely worth reading. The descriptions of nature, wildlife and the countryside brims with his passion for his favoured subjects. Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir is well written and highly original: non-linear, multiple points of view, and rooted in Chris's Asperger's Syndrome condition.He spoke as if this scenario was a simple, obvious, everyday matter of fact so she responded in a similar vein, ‘How do you stay ahead?’

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar by Chris Packham | Open Library Fingers in the Sparkle Jar by Chris Packham | Open Library

It’s brave because it is a self-portrait of a rather weird kid – not good with people and not a bundle of laughs, it seems. A kid who was fascinated by wildlife. This slightly weird kid grew up to be a slightly weird, and troubled, adult, and the honesty of the book is what makes it very powerful. Chris brings to life his childhood in the 1970s, from his bedroom bursting with birds' eggs and jam jars, to his feral adventures. But throughout his story is the search for freedom, meaning and acceptance in a world that didn't understand him. Lastly in other sections we meet him in his early 40's, apparently having counselling following a suicide bid. These passages are written in italics, not sure why.This is not a misery memoir full of self-pity: his descriptions and adventures into the world of nature soar as high as his love for his kestrel. His emotional pain is tangible, he is unable to cope, and so he begins to ‘separate’ from a world he perceives as confusing, unintelligible, and untrustworthy: British Trust for Ornithology, BTO, The Nunnery, Thetford, Norfolk IP24 2PU, Tel: +44 (0)1842 750050 Fax: +44 (0)1842 750030 By running, by never stopping, by constantly trying to make it better, do it better. By never giving up, by always believing that I can, I must, I will.’ His writing style challenges the conventions of memoir writing, with sudden switching of point of view, a non-linear timeline, and the occasional 'stream of consciousness' narrative.The prose veers from lyrical, almost literary, to confusing passages, yet the result is convincing and entertaining on several levels. Here is an example extract: Chris takes a kestrel from its nest, forming an all-consuming friendship which will eventually teach him hard lessons about love and loss.

Fingers in the Sparkle Jar: A Memoir - Goodreads

A wonderfully passionate and gut wrenchingly honest read that had me captivated all the way through. Episode 1: Chris begins his recollections as an introverted, unusual young boy, isolated by his obsessions and a loner at school. I agree, surprising, moving,unsettling and not like anything else I’ve read. Really interested to see what reaction it gets from others. From his childhood roaming and searching for nature specimens and animals, his home life, torturous school days, teens and a fast forward to his sessions with a therapist where he discusses his suicide attempts. A silky mist was rising from the marbled surface of the stream, stirred by the sun, which was dropping sequins into all its dimples and gilding the surface with lemon.”Unusual, honest memoir about a boy obsessed with the natural world. I can appreciate his interest in the natural world as I too had a (somewhat smaller) collection of skulls, birds eggs and the like in my bedroom and saved my money for binoculars for bird watching, but not to the extent of his obsessions. The book veers away from the style of the traditional celebrity autobiography by telling the story from a number of perspectives. Sometimes the story is told in the straightforward, first-person style that would be expected. At other times, we see the boy through the eyes of others: a neighbour, a teacher, a farmer, or a pet shop owner. Thus we begin to build a picture of the personality of the boy and how he is viewed by those around him. Interestingly, some chapters revisit the same events through different perspectives; we see it through the eyes of an outsider and then get Chris' version of events. His writing is poetic, lyrical and beautiful, even when writing about commonplace events such as an encounter with the local ice-cream man. Alas, there is, perhaps unsurprisingly, just too much about animals and nature. Much as I love both, I am not passionate about knowing every detail. I am.’ He replied quietly, ‘I’m the enemy, my enemy. And I’m chasing myself and when I finally catch me I’m going to kill me.’ The gaps of information leave the reader longing to find out more about how this wildlife-obsessed kid came out of the depths of depression to make his way in the world.