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Fierce Conversations: Achieving success in work and in life, one conversation at a time

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Susan begins the book by first establish the meaning of “fierce” with the reader. Fierce – meaning robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager and unbridled. Fierce conversations are the threshold of creating and maintaining a healthy relationship between ourselves and a boss, co-workers, family, friends or loved ones. These fierce conversations may even be able to mend relationships that are already deteriorating. The idea behind fierce conversations is to come to terms with reality. One person’s reality may be different than another person’s; it relies on truth, which it held by both people. No one has the absolute truth when it comes to a fierce conversation because both people’s perception of reality is part of the truth. Fierce conversations are designed to intensify relationships by interrogating the reality of both sides and ending them with conclusions that appeal to both observations. The phrase emphasized most here, and throughout the book, is “come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real.” The idea of this statement is to encourage people to take down any sort of emotional barrier or to challenge an avoided topic that needs to be discussed. Barnes & Noble. (n.d.). Retrieved from Barnes & Noble: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Fierce-Conversations/Susan-Scott/e/9780425193372/?itm=1&USRI=fierce+conversations+achieving+success+at+work Oftentimes when people communicate with their partner, they aren’t really saying anything. They aren’t connecting, engaging, or deepening their relationships with the conversations they are having. Pg 26 Interrogating reality allows you to generate internal commitment to a decision. People buy into it, even if theydon’t necessarily agree with it, because their perspective was sought out and valued and because they genuinely understand why the decision was made. Fierce Conversations dwells on the act of listening. We must learn to listen to what others are saying and reflect on what is said, rather than engage our minds in what we will say next or allow our mind to wander while someone else is speaking. Susan emphasizes that if a topic is brought up by someone else, even though it may appear to be pointless or off-topic to us, it must be important to them or have some deeper meaning related to the issue at hand. Without being a good listener, we cannot properly identify the issue and therefore progress with meaningless talking or blowing of hot air with little, to no, content.

The seven principles of fierce conversations are what will allow you to create rich and satisfying romantic relationships in your life. Being fierce in your conversations and romantic relationships is a skill set, mind-set, attitude and way of life. Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time is a self-help book written by Susan Scott, founder and CEO of Fierce Inc., about how to have a difficult conversation. [1] Content [ edit ] Prior to joining Fierce, Geeta was with AT&T for close to 15 years handling multiple technology projects. Geeta holds an MBA degree from Robert Kennedy University, Switzerland in Information Systems and Entrepreneurship. She lives in Arizona with her husband and 2 sons. You know you need to sort the problem but facing it head on is scary. Maybe you’ve had similar conversations in the past that didn’t go to plan. To interrogate reality means to understand your own beliefs and question if they are working for you and your relationship or not.Susan effectively uses the skills taught within her book, Fierce Conversations, while telling others about such conversations. She allows effective silence for her words to sink in, while successfully expressing powerful emotion and intent. Branch Decisions:Make the decision and act upon it. Report the action(s) taken at regular daily, weekly or monthly intervals. Being yourself is the most important part of having fierce conversations in your relationship. These 7 principles will help you to come out from behind yourself and into a conversation and make it real. The goal is to be able to say something that is true for you in the conversations you have.

Include: the issue, a specific example, your emotions about it, clarify what is at stake, identify your contribution to the problem, indicate you wish to resolve the issue, and invite the person to respond Don’t take the conversation away from the other person and make it about yourself by adding your advice, experiences or whatever The experience of being understood, versus interpreted, is so compelling, you could charge admissionAs Ken Blanchard notes in his foreword to this book, a course in conversations won't be found in an M.B.A. curriculum. But the key to real business success, according to author Susan Scott, is what she calls "fierce conversation," an honest, meaningful, authentic exchange between two people. Reminding us that "the conversation is the relationship," she counsels us to speak with clarity, conviction, and compassion.”(Barnes & Noble) You cannot have the life you want, make the decisions you want, or be the leader you are capable of being until your actions represent an authentic expression of who you really are, or who you wish to become.”(Scott, 2004)

What I like about this approach is that it’s like a coaching relationship – less boss and underling, more mentor and mentoree. And I think by encouraging managers to approach potentially difficult conversation as opportunities to learn rather than as opportunities to reprimand their reports, Scott reflects the changing landscape of leadership in today’s world. It is a popular book that is still “hopping” and in a 3rd edition. The new edition is essentially the same, if that matters. Some content got moved to different chapters and there’s a few cyber-era paragraphs but it’s largely the same book. In her talk titled: “The Case for Radical Transparency”, Susan said, “If you’re a leader, understand that it is not lonely at the top. Or shouldn’t be. You will not, cannot single handedly cause or prevent success…The answers are in the room. We have them. Get the right people in the room and ask for our help.”

That’s why, so often, people avoid having them at all. They get someone else to do it. Or they move the offending employee into another team or department to become someone else’s problem. How is this currently impacting you? Who or what else is being impacted? Ask what else a bunch of times, probe feelings. When you consider these impacts, what do you feel? Susan Scott is a best-selling author and leadership development architect, who currently runs her own company – Fierce, Inc. Her goal is to enable business leaders and CEOs across the globe to actively engage themselves in fierce conversation, not only with others, but most importantly with themselves. After 13 years of actively engaging herself in consultation and fierce conversation, Susan decided to write a book to enable others to take part in meaningful, fierce conversation. Silence is where what is real can be detected.” – Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time If nothing changes, what are the implications? Ask what else, probe feelings. When you consider those possible outcomes, what do you feel?

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