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Patch Work: A Life Amongst Clothes

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No, that's ok," Andrew looks up at the door, grimaces, as the sobbing behind the door gets louder, and gestures me to follow him away from the door and down the hall. "What's happening in there?" he whispers. "This place is a trip, huh?" But my brain is fighting me with all that it has. The note is like a little beacon. I can't believe I did it. I wonder when he'll see it. I wonder if I should take it down before he does. What’s her dream as a curator? If she could stage an exhibition about anything at all, what would it be? “That’s like offering me a plate of sweets and making me choose just one,” she says, looking completely delighted nonetheless. She thinks for a bit. She has been fantasising for a while about doing a show staged underwater, but the practicalities are extreme, so for now she’ll plump for something else: “I was reading Zola’s The Ladies’ Paradise, a novel about a 19th-century department store that’s modelled on Le Bon Marché [a Parisian store now owned by LVMH]. It’s set at a moment when women had more freedom to go out and be consumers, to explore a fashionable world that went beyond clothing, and it’s completely wonderful: the luscious descriptions, the fabrics tumbling over bannisters, the entrance hall hung with carpets from Turkmenistan. It would be incredible to recreate such a store: visitors could even be hit by a blast of perfume as they come in.” I resign myself to people watching. Thanks to my peripheral vision, I know Jeff's sitting, eating. But I deliberately avoid looking at him - anything to stay anonymous.

I have already come to appreciate the distinctive, soothing sound of mealtime here: the clink, clink of silverware on plates, the occasional scooting out or scooting in of a chair, and the rare exchange of a utilitarian whisper. Solitude amongst friends. Details about her love life are still under review. We will let you know when she gets in a relationship or when we discover helpful information about her love life. How much is Claire Wilcox worth? Ha! It shouldn't surprise me that this is the topic - we are at a silent Vipassana meditation retreat, and craving is the root of suffering, and all that. But it feels like Kate's words are directed at me. I've done it to myself - I've gotten in a rut, peri-divorce. That's why I'm here, to figure a way out of this. But what could have possibly inspired me to choose a week of sitting rigidly on a cushion? I wonder if I have a self-destructive yen for discomfort. I love fashion, sewing and the V&A - so I was delighted to read this book. What I wasn't expecting from the author was the exceptionally beautiful writing. I do hope Claire goes onto write more as she is very talented.

Today, what I should do is tell her about my situation, dare I admit, my Jeff Obsession. Instead, I will talk about something innocuous, like the troubles I'm having in following my breath, or something. I need to come up with a convincing script. Finally, the gong rings. The yogis stand, bodies shift, clothes rustle, the yogis cough. Me, I stay seated on my cushion, wanting to bathe in it all for a little while longer. My body is alive and wild, and for the moment I give it permission to take me on a joy ride. The “blurb” about this book grabbed my attention – I enjoy memoirs, personal histories, “hidden stories” & the like so I was intrigued by the promise of stories told through a box of buttons, a forgotten pin in a hem, a mark on leather … the fact that it was written by a curator in Fashion at the Victoria & Albert Museum surely meant this would be a glimpse behind the scenes, some stories of clothes within the collection – very exciting! Jeff. Our breathing is synced, today. Mine slows when his does, and his does when mine does. We are like a couple who's slept together for years. I wonder if I should just reach my hand out, right now, and touch his with mine, gently. The wanting surges in my chest. And I watch it, the good yogi. Maybe our fingers would intertwine, melt together. Wilcox stands at an average height, she has not shared her height with the public. Her height will be listed once we have it from a credible source. Is Claire Wilcox married?

I saw you run up the hill. You were crying, and I thought, well, I wanted to be available if you needed to talk. But, if you'd rather be alone, that's totally fine, I'll go. You were cruising," he ended with a smile. I try to concentrate on my food. Be a good yogi, I say to myself, though I'm anything but. A yogi is worthy of a bow. I'm more like a bumbling idiot, a disaster. I craft an imaginary wall around myself. I am in an enclosed space, there is no one. I'm safe and alone. I can keep it together, if I just stay in this bubble. Personal objects from Wilcox’s new book, Patch Work. From left, mother-of-pearl buttons, 1900-1950; a porcelain saucer with blue underglaze, 1751, Jingdezhen, China; and a silver chatelaine, c1910. Photograph: Julian StairOne of the squirrels chatter, the elk looks up at it, then sees us, and freezes. It pauses and assesses, its eyes still, brown and round. We are all motionless. We are radiating stars of goodness, I think. I revel in the shared silence. It's a new feeling. Exhibits from Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty, the 2015 V&A exhibition, which Wilcox says was an ‘incredible liberation’. Photograph: Victoria and Albert Museum, London Unfortunately, I found the book quite frustrating to read as I wanted the author to return to textiles, curation and preservation of garments and these parts felt like very brief interludes in amongst the family stories. I am overwhelmed by this book. It is an absolute masterpiece. A book of such beauty and profundity, of such poetry in its emotion and observation ... I found my sense of life transformed by her writing as I often find it transformed after the exhibition of a great artist' LAURA CUMMING

Patch Work by Claire Wilcox is an unusual memoir. The title is perfect, the book is made up of a series of vignettes stitched together to make a beautiful whole, much like the pieces that make up a patch work quilt, and since the author has worked as a curator in the Victoria and Albert Museum for most of her working life, dealing with everything from top hats to medieval felt caps , fragile silks and yellowing linens, it seems wonderfully suited as a way to tell her story. We learn about how she grew up surrounded by the trappings of a seamstress, and how her mother made most of the family's clothes, from her own wedding suit to Claire's girlhood dresses , we follow her on her travels along the hippy trail to India , and even into her own journey into motherhood. These stories are woven into descriptions of her work as a curator and what that involves. But what might I miss? I promise myself I will at least go on a walk, first, before giving everything up. Excuse me," a voice whispers, and I look up to see Andrew, frazzled, a little sweat at his temples, sporting hiking clothes. I feel myself recoil. "I was supposed to have my interview with the teacher at 10:45. Do you know, is she on-time? Or did I miss it?" But if I don't, what if Jeff's "The One"? What if he's the man I left John for, the man that I'd lose the chance to be with forever if I don't ACT NOW?She is an actress best remembered for her roles in Ben Casey (1961), 40 Pounds of Trouble (1962), and The Brady Bunch (1969). She played Paula Harvey / Janet / Connie Farmer in 'My Three Sons,' Susan in 'The Smith Family,' and Stacy in 'Lost in Space.' She has also given guest appearances in Window on Main Street, Dr. Kildare, The Virginian, Perry Mason, Ben Casey, Gunsmoke, Shane, Laredo, Lost in Space, Family Affair, Daniel Boone, My Three Sons, The High Chaparral, Gentle Ben, The Partridge Family from the year 1961-1971.

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