Gary Bushell On The Box

Product Information

FRIENDS: The Reunion was never going to be as funny as the show – they’re actors not comedians; they need scriptwriters to sparkle. This was a fix of pure, sugary nostalgia. Peter gives her a bear and shots it dead for fun, forces her into a threesome and, when she tries to escape in a crate, he has it dumped in a lake. These are the highlights by the way. Billed as “an occasionally true story”, it’s largely untrue, and disappointingly lame. JUST 22per cent of a Greggs sausage roll is protein, according to C5 doc Inside Greggs, but it’s still ten times meatier than Yesterday, Today & The Day Before.

Garry Bushell Garry Bushell

This was a half-hearted, issue-obsessed, futile Covid-tamed version of an awards shows, with predictably dull speeches and winners awkwardly scrabbling about on Zoom. A wasted opportunity. In this fantasy world, only women wield magic. Wisdoms can “hear” messages from the wind – so best keep ’em away from Miriam Margolyes. And witches (the Aes Sedai) protect the world. The show is informative though – who knew sheep testicles were as large and slippery as a Prime Minister?COMIC Rhea Butcher on 2 Dope Queens wore jeans, a waistcoat, a button-down shirt and had a bloke’s haircut... then complained about being called “sir”. I feel her pain. I went out in a dolphin outfit once and some bum threw me a fish. STRICTLY did Halloween last weekend. Not sure how Dan Walker’s lobster claws and Anton dressed as The Riddler fitted the theme, but full marks to Claudia. With no extra effort, she looked scarier than the lot of ’em. ON Roast Battle, Brennan Reece told Kiri Pritchard-McLean her privates looked like “Chewbacca with a cleft palate”. Rude yes, but refreshingly un-PC.

Bushell Garry Bushell

Bish, who sells fish, claimed his favourite was “summat oyster”. Hmm, Venice Oyster? That’s best experienced with a professional athlete. Maybe he just meant you slurp away from the wide end. Top Drama: Top True Crime Drama: Des told the grizzly story of Scottish serial killer Dennis “Des” Nilsen, aka the Muswell Hill Murderer, over three gripping nights. David Tennant was mesmerising in the title role. Looking like a hybrid of Robert Peston and Louis Theroux, Tennant brought the callous creep to life, confessing his crimes in a flat monotone, like a tranquillised man reciting a shopping list. ODDER, Googlebox telling us what an exciting week of TV we’ve had and then cutting straight to the first review – a decades-old movie. Top Bonking Bankers: Industry, which also gave us the Top Irritant, Kenny Kilbane, and the most eye-catching lingerie courtesy Yasmin Yazdani. Best Sport Doc series: The Dark Side Of The Ring. Runners-up: Tyson Fury: The Gypsy King, The Last Dance.WHAT about that bath of stinking cheese whey they shared? There’s a Pulp song in this, sorted for Edam and Swiss... ON SAS: Who Dares Wins Ant said of lawyer Hannah, “As long as she doesn’t go down, I’ll be happy.” E TV questions: how do the cast of A Discovery Of Witches keep a straight face? Is there anyone alive who could take government Covid guidelines as a specialist Mastermind subject and do well?

HOW does Craig Charles keep a straight face on Moneybags saying things like “Mike moves from the hole and he goes into pole”? CLASSIC CLANGER: ANDY Gray was talking about giving away goals when he said: “The most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs.” In the latest episode, sweaty Felix hired shy lip-reader Iris to spy on his wife Brenda who he suspected was sleeping with her boss, Dmitri Novak. WHO is murdering ex-miners on Sherwood? Given the BBC’s usual “balance”, you half-expected it to be the gloating ghost of Baroness Thatcher. But the well-cast drama has more depth than that. ROT on TV: the BAFTAs – as suspect as Mayweather Vs Logan... BBC3’s Shrill – less a scream, more a cry for help.June 27. DOWN the mean streets of TV crime drama, a man must go who is not himself mean... Harry Bosch is that man, untarnished and unafraid. I love how you keep that smile on your face when you are upside down with your hand between your legs.” Top Comedy: Curb Your Enthusiasm. Top comedy drama: Urban Myths: Les Dawson’s Parisienne Adventure. The format is beginning to feel tired. Gasp as people we don’t know chomp on cow’s arses and goat’s balls! Yawn as Naughty Boy drops a whole ten feet on a safety harness... TV comedy barely exists. Jennifer Saunders is right – AbFab wouldn’t get made now. None of the great sitcoms would either.