Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

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Assertiveness also ensures that others don’t take unfair advantage of you or bully you into doing things you don’t want to do. I also found the self-promotion of his classes and other books (as well as the promotion of the works of fellow colleagues) incredibly obnoxious because at one point it became a sentence that was just copy-pasted by the end of every chapter or any line he (the author) deemed substantial. There are tractors, mazes, and some sort of green beret that's supposed to be a pumpkin stem that I'm really glad I don't have to wear. Not the puff-your-out-chest fake kind of confidence; I’m talking about the truly grounded and magnetic kind of confidence . There’s a solid takeaway here for people who take on too much responsibility for the feelings of others, but I wonder if the advice within is really all that healthy.

WARNING: when you liberate yourself from the "niceness" you will rebound as a jerk in the first few days. We looked at the top Assertiveness Workbooks and dug through the reviews from some of the most popular review sites. There were also many moments of, "Okay, I get it, I already bought the book, you don't have to keep selling me on your point. However, while very small bits of the book I definitely feel like I will carry forward with me, overall the book was forgettable. When someone donates a fifty dollar bill with a personal message on it, she’s launched on a journey to find out where it came from and in the process finds herself.I felt like he was mirroring everything I was struggling internally with and the logic and exercises he shares are so helpful and insightful to me. Aiden is grumpy and emotionally unavailable and hires Jenna to help him be less awkward with people so that he can run his family's sailboat business. Since I've already read some books about people pleasing, I didn't mind that it didn't talk much about how it is a coping mechanism from childhood stress and truama.

Not Nice is not the book for improving the long term outlook for your relationships and career objectives.Jenna will help Aiden with opening up around other people in exchange for a donation to the family pumpkin patch. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion. Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. I eye-rolled at his stereotypical relationship advice about femininity and masculinity, where he advises the masculine partner to “take” and “own her. It offered some good tips and practical pointers on how to approach both shadow-work and making lists of things that you want to change about yourself.