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Boundaries are only effective when we set and enforce them with ourselves and others. These are the rules, and we have to be willing to accept the consequences of enforcing them, because the consequences are far greater than when we don’t. We are not a victim of our circumstances. Boundaries give us the power to choose and the responsibility to decide. Not taking things personally is also a hallmark of people with a growth mindset. Read here how to develop a growth mindset. Sometimes this happens in codependent relationships, but in introducing the law of responsibility, the author says that people must be responsible for themselves. People who cannot accept our “nos”, the people whom you probably don’t want in your life, will disappear.
That Boundaries Play In Leadership Growth - Forbes The Role That Boundaries Play In Leadership Growth - Forbes
Set boundaries on your desire to save one another from their defects in character . If you’re the outspoken type, don’t make your partner’s life easier by doing all the talking. Support, but don’t swoop in and save them. Disrespect can manifest itself in a variety of ways, but it almost always entails a breach of independence. Here are a few forms of disrespect you should look out for and not tolerate in your relationship:Boundaries are necessary for two reasons. First and foremost, they define us. Boundaries define who we are and who we are not; they define what we agree and disagree with; they define what we value and dislike.
Dr. Henry Cloud - About Dr. Henry Cloud - About
Well, he doesn’t think he has a problem,” they replied. “Maybe he’s right,” I said, to their surprise. “Tell me about it.” They recited a history of problems that had begun at a very young age. Bill had never been “quite up to snuff” in their eyes. In recent years he had exhibited problems with drugs and an inability to stay in school and find a career. It was apparent that they loved their son very much and were heartbroken over the way he was living. They had tried everything they knew to get him to change and live a responsible life, but all had failed. He was still using drugs, avoiding responsibility, and keeping questionable company. Think about discussing limits and capacity. When an employee says, “I can only work on these two projects in this timeframe,” leaders can be assured that the projects will be done well because they’re not taking too much on. Leaders should also make decisions to manage other resources across the organization so work can still be done. If there’s too much work to spread around, there may be a business case for a new full-time employee. But this conversation starts with a conversation around boundaries. Your dating life should be reserved for persons who are actively interested in the growth process. Those who accept responsibility for their shortcomings are less inclined to develop reliance on others’ abilities. Many people focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. That’s why the ability to set clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. Boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Drs. Cloud and Townsend offer biblically-based answers and show how to set healthy boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself! What do you mean, ‘boundaries’?” the father asked. “Look at it this way. It is as if he’s your neighbor, who never waters his lawn. But, whenever you turn on your sprinkler system, your water only falls on his lawn. Your grass is turning brown and dying, but Bill looks down at his green grass and thinks to himself, ‘My yard is doing fine.’ That’s how your son’s life is. He doesn’t study, or plan, or work, yet he has a nice place to live, plenty of money, and all the rights of a family member who is doing his part.
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Ascertain that your romantic connection is based on both love and honesty. Encourage each other to improve. You may be adding to each other’s laziness if your relationship is one of absolute ease. The author says that emotional distance is a temporary boundary for when you need to be safe, but it cannot be a long-term state or solution. The Bible tells us clearly what our parameters are and how to protect them, but often our family, or other past relationships, confuses us about our parameters. In addition to showing us what we are responsible for, boundaries help us to define what is not on our property and what we are not responsible for. We are not, for example, responsible for other people. Nowhere are we commanded to have “other-control,” although we spend a lot of time and energy trying to get it! Boundaries have great psychological depth and, if you’re religious, this is your N.1 book to draw your boundaries, learn to say no, and become more assertive. And if you sow badly by drinking, smoking, and spending more than you earn, than chances are you will reap poorly.
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